I have encountered the exact same situations there as well, I know better now to even attempt to try anything on, much less look, that I now only stick to buying shoes in Spain, at least I know I will find some!!!
I have been learning the hard way about the sugar coating cultural difference thing...My mother-in-law has sent me to tears a few times with her comments, but as time passes, she has learned to lessen the blows (I mean comments) and I have learned to take it in stride...