Booklady: Your first one about the Magna Carta,there is probably more truth than humor to that one. I like your breakdown of the airline's names. Written like a seasoned traveler.

A rabbit was skipping through the forest one day when he came across a mountain lion that was getting ready shoot up some heroin. The rabbit stops him and gives him a hug and says, "Oh Mr. Lion, don't do that, it can hurt you, I love you. Come with me and play in the forest. The mountain lion looks at the rabbit rather puzzled but since no one ever told him they loved him, he decided to go with the rabbit.

As they played in the forest they came across a wolf that was going to snort some crack. The rabbit goes up to him and hugs him and says, "Oh no Mr. Wolf, don't do that, we love you! Come with us and play in the forest." The wolf thought it was a bit strange but since he was lonely he decided to join them.

As the rabbit, wolf and mountain lion played in the forest they came across a bear that was smoking some weed. The rabbit goes up to the bear and hugs him and says, "Oh no Mr. Bear"...SLAP!The rabbit goes flying across the woods as the bear smacks him away. The bear grumbles..."G*ddamn rabbit, I hate it when he's on ecstasy!"

Good one OSO!

And for a Oldy but Goody Classic:

A bear and a Rabbitt were taking a crap in the woods, the bear looks over at the Rabbitt and asks "Do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The Rabbitt replies "No"...........SO the bear picks him up and wipes his Butt with him. Bada Boom :p

MedicalMan...that was such a groaner...but I loved it!

OK-

There's a penguin driving through the desert. Suddenly his car breaks down on a lonely stretch of highway. So the little penguin waddles off to find the nearest town. He walks around 10 miles in the blazing aftrenoon heat, and finally arrives in a small town. He finds the town garage, and walks in and explains his situation to the mechanin.
"No problem" the mechanic tells him. "You take a walk around town for a coupe of hours, and I'll tow your car in and take a look, and let you know what's going on."
Great. So the penguin goes back outside, man is it hot. Down the street he sees an ice cream parlor. So he waddles as quickly as he can to the ice cream parlor. He goes in, and orders a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. Being a penguin,he just sort of uses his flippers to get the ice cream as close to his mouth as possible, but obviously it gets spread everywhere. One bowl isn't enough, so he has a couple more. Finally he sees enough time has passed so he waddles back to the garage. The mechanic sees him as he walks through the door.
"Hey" the mechanic says "You b*** a seal."
"No" the penguin replies "it's just vanilla ice cream."

ColinK, while your joke did make me giggle outloud, that's a dirty joke and not appropriate for many people's eyes. Sorry. I had to censor one word in your "punchline".

ONLY CLEAN JOKES, PLEASE! Thanks!

Saludos, MadridMan

I apologize if anyone was offended by my penguin joke.

What Are Politics?

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."

So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."

"You do? Tell me."

"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"

Regarding ColinK's penguin joke. OH MY...(clutching the pearls), I think Im getting the vapors!

Long one sorry

Andy and Bob are playing a weekly poker game with friends and family. Andy drops his cards under the table and while picking them up notices that Bob's wife isn't wearing panties, so he gets up and continues the game. during a break Andy is in the kitchen and Bob's wife walks over and askes him if he liked what he saw. Surprised by her question Andy says he did. she states that if he wants to try it out, it would cost $500 Bob is working tommorow so come by the house i'll take care of you about noon. So the next day while bobs at work Andy goes over and has "relations" with Bobs wife he pays her the money and leaves. one hour later Bob comes home and asks his wife if Andy stopped by around noon, she says yes, He then asks if he left $500 to which say hesistates but answers yes, but why do you want to know. he says Andy came by my office this morning and borrowed $500 said he would stop by the house at noon and pay me back.