Ladies and gentleman. My ladyfriend (turning 40 years old in a few months) and I have had a wonderful relationship these 7 years and we've talked about marriage in many ways. I've even threatened it, but it never goes anyway. I even proposed in the "proper" way about 4 years ago, gave her a diamond ring which she still has, she accepted with a "Maybe some day," but it's clear it will never happen as long as I don't have a better paying job or her chances of getting a decent job don't improve so that we could live better than paupers (poor people). Plus, she lives with her elderly (and more and more needy) mother and has a new (2 years) nephew in Madrid too which she dearly loves. So there you go! We've been over and over this topic together hundreds of times. I don't think it will ever happen. It's a political thing too: no accepting the governments necessity of recognizing a relationship in order to get benefits, etcetera.

But hey Martin!! Good for you, buddy! I'm really happy and YOU'RE very fortunate. Enjoy it all for as long as possible.

Saludos, MadridMan

[This message has been edited by MadridMan (edited 12-02-2000).]

I'm sorry, but am I the only one here that thinks MM should MOVE ON? It's obvious that without papers you'll never be together. Unless she accepts the government's necessity for marriage, well, you aren't left with many choices are you. I wish we could all talk some sense into your "ladyfriend" because you seem like a great catch.

Well, as long as we are giving (unwanted???) advice to MM-- why move on, if you adore your ladyfriend? All arrangements don't have to be traditional, stable, etc. It sounds as though you could easily grab the nearest gringa, get married, have 2 kids in the burbs, etc. but... why? You sound relatively happy despite wanting a more committed relationship. Your ladyfriend, however, is skewed in her thinking, because if she really felt that way about the government and the benefits that accrue by virtue of marriage, she'd have to refuse the pension for old people (why should the old have benefits that the young don't), the unemployment money, etc etc. As her mother ages and she gets well into her 40s, perhaps the sense of stability and partnership will appeal to her more, and she'll see marriage as a formality that allows both of you to live in the same country. anyway, sorry to be intrusive... we all CARE!

rgf asks:
"(why should the old have benefits that the young don't),"

Could it be because as people age they become subject to age discrimination by employers, become ill, infirm, their sensual acuity often diminishes,and, unlike that of young people, their earning capacity diminishes or disappears?

Too, they may have paid into welfare funds, through taxation on wages and income, all their working lives. Some of those benefits may in part be merely some of their own money being returned to them. All of which you will come to appreciate better as you age.
Cantabene


[This message has been edited by cantabene (edited 12-03-2000).]

Cantabene, the point I was making is exactly that. Old people SHOULD have benefits. Married people also get benefits, for reasons that are not as clear as in the case of old people... but after all, most children are born within marriage, and society has an interest in promoting child-bearing/bringing up (aka breeding!).

Martin

What a beautiful chapter in the book of your life. Love, art, beautiful surroundings. Mazel Tov!!!

MadridMan,

You are a lucky hombre. Despite the fact she spurns your marriage proposals, it is evident to all the board contributors that you have found a very special lady, one that is worth waiting for.

BTW, Happy Birthday MM. Incidentally, it must have a been a typo on your behalf, as it is impossible that your lady friend is 40. I have seen the few photos of her on the board, and am convinced that she is no older than 30.

We too are artists and will gladly take this studio off your hands when you come back to the US out of homesickness.........NOT!!......Rev. Mike