Applause! Applause! Applause, for La Maestra!

The best post on this site!

Yes, yes, yes!! That's it!! Wow LaMaestra, you certainly are indeed.

Here in the UK the attitude of the man helping their woman pick out clothing is seen as being only capable by gay men. Trail behind the woman and look despondent is the norm, (mechanism perhaps to discourage her from spending), and is often seen as a joke here. Crazy.

I now know it's the confidence these euro women have and radiate which makes the difference to me, as I think all women are beautiful. It's wonderful and should be like that in all countries of the world.

LaMaestra, YOU are beautiful!

I totally agree that Spanish women (and men for that matter) are, on the whole, extraordinarily beautiful. Not that everyone looks like Penelope, but Spanish women (especially women in their 30s, who are well on their way to "invisible" status here in the U.S.--land of the prepubescent 15-year-old "supermodel") carry themselves with confidence and seem to take great pride in wearing clothes that flatter them.

One thing I noticed is that, as far as clothing goes, it seems to be "quality" over "quantity" (which doesn't just mean that everything is tighter/skimpier)--where many of my friends here in the United States would be embarrassed to wear the same outfit more than every 2 weeks or so, my European friends find something that looks incredible on them and then don't mind wearing it to go out two Fridays in a row, even with the same people (am I mistaken about this, Españolas?)!

Another thing I noticed about being in Spain is that a little piropo goes a long way--if a 60-year-old shopkeeper calls me "guapa," I stand a little straighter and hold my head a little higher ALL DAY!

La Maestra,

I too have enjoyed very much reading your post indeed, which I've found quite funny (in the good sense!); but I must say I can't agree with a few things, SPECIALLY, with the last part; in my book, what a woman thinks about herself SHOULD NOT be based on the treatment she gets from others (men), it should be something that comes from within her, above all, from the deep conviction that she is, or at least tries to be, a good, worthy PERSON (if that is the case :o ). It's nobody else's responsibility, except maybe the whole of society's, which includes both genders (magazines, tv, media in general, which sometimes seem to be saying to us, the superwoman concept actually exists ). A good "piropo' is an extremely nice gesture, no doubt about that, the best instant ego-buster (and God knows women, in general, aren't “gifted” with big ones….egos, I mean! he, he! :p ), but you seem to think that we get those constantly, or that “our men” don't cease to admire and praise us….We wished! I'm sorry to burst your bubble but that is not the case AT ALL! .Regarding the “piropo situation”, it definitely isn't what it used to be, in these times of political correctness, men are way too busy (heck! we're all extremely busy!) to just sit or stand in the street and watch the women go by, AND think of something witty to say to them, and the “masters”, the construction workers…., well, most of them are Romanian or Polish these days, so do they comment on our physiques? Go figure! Thankfully, we're now going towards a much more “piropo friendly” season, with Spring and Summer in the air (he, he!). The last proper ones I can recall were said to me in Amsterdam….and it sure wasn't because I'm "Spanish-looking"!

One other thing, I'm a big….what would be the contrary to fan?, of guys accompanying their partners to go shopping. Here are some of the reasons why: #1: the vast majority of them do not enjoy it, so why should they be tagged along, the poor things? I wouldn't want to “be taken” to soccer games, for instance. #2: I know perfectly well what I like and don't like, what's in fashion, and even what sort of looks good on me, so I don't need a guy figure there to be telling me either that he has no clue, or that I should get the tight short red dress with the uh….noticeable “neckline”, and the high heels. #3: Because of #1 I guess, men get booored out of their minds, and we all know how males tend to behave under those circumstances, as a result, and this is REALLY what bothers me immensely, the girls who want their guys to stand just outside the fitting rooms, which seem to be 95% of them, impose on the rest of us their bfs, hubbies, or whatever, peeping in the direction of OUR little changing rooms (girls, how many times have you caught these guys looking “absentmindedly” through those silly little curtains?!), it makes me mad, I can't help it (it's just one of my worst "manias', sorry maestra! ), so I'm never so inconsiderate towards my fellow women to give my partner's uh….curiosity, the possibility of spoiling what would otherwise be a pleasant leisure activity for them.
(Note: I'm noticing as I write, I've been lucky that my longest-lasting relationship has been with a colour-blind fellow, he, he!)

Castiza, Guapetona, what do you say?

Tara, to answer your question, you might be right; I'm not a good example, because even though I don't particularly enjoy going shopping (lol), window shopping that is, I do like clothes, so I buy and own quite an amount of stuff; but I can remember when I went to the States for my senior year in H.S. noticing that all my American "amiguitas' had lots and lots of different clothes (but also more cars, etc,….). After all, is the consumer society at its most. (Can you say that¿?)

P.S.: I know many, many girls have their guys go with them out shopping, actually, two of my very best friends Esperanza and Roberto are married and do this all the time, but knowing him I'm 100% certain he's no peeping Tom, he's such a SAINT!, he, he! So, please, nobody get offended!!!

A compliment certainly goes a long way to giving a woman confidence in herself and her appearance – be it from a 99 year old or whoever – male or female

But you can’t feel good on the basis simply of what someone else thinks. If you don’t like yourself, you are unlikely to radiate attractiveness to anyone else either.

I seriously believe that a stash of clothes doesn’t make anyone any more or less attractive – maybe it does from a distance, but not for that real close up oooo factor.

I think the reserved nature of many of the people in the UK makes it quite challenging to present a compliment on someones appearance. And because we aren’t used to it, it’s also quite difficult to accept graciously, even if inside ourselves we are one big smile.

As for shopping with men! Tut! Why do they always want to look at you from behind when you try something new on?

I must say La Maestra you have managed in a few paragraphs to eloquently capture the subtle art of Latin romance.

Do Spaniards absolutely embody seduction...perhaps although I really think Latin Americans take this prize

I have never ever felt more womanly than walking down the streets of Belgrano, Buenos Aires in the fall and have a gorgeous Argentinean man look at me and tell me "eres una diosa..la mas divina que han visto estos ojos..." I have to admit although Sevillanos are known for their Don Juan abilities..that was by far more seductive than "chiquilla...etamos o no etamos??" JA JA JA

I love latin men in all their incarnations.....european and otherwise..and its no coincidence the man that took my heart is a Murcianico..who wakes up everyday looks me in the eyes and calls me "mi perla..te adoro"

AHHHH...K VIVA nuestra lengua, cultura y sobre todo nuestros machitos ibéricos!! :p

Guapetona, you summed it up nicely. I agree that it is probably a very latin thing. Case in point: I recently wore what I thought to be a pretty sharp outfit to work. I had it on when I kissed my husband goodbye in the morning. He scarcely took his eyes off the newspaper. When I got to work, all the Hispanic men I encountered expressed some...let's say appreciation. The groundskeepers stopped raking and just turned their heads to follow me. The custodian (about half my age) said "Ay, usted esta muy guapa hoy!", my Mexican colleague said "Hey, maestra, you look great today." I went home and said to hubby "Gee, I must have been wearing a really Hispanic outfit today. All the Mexican guys at work seemed to like it." Husband said "Yeah, you looked ok." Such passion! Such romance! Latin men seem to notice women in a different way and have the poetry in them to make even the simplest thing sound beautiful.

Pim, I don't mean to suggest that women should merely reflect what people think of them. But if being a good person was all it took to look great, all the American women you see running around town with no makeup and old sweats would look beautiful. The simple fact that the paseo still exists suggests that women get dressed up for somebody. Or not? Would you dress to the nines if no one were going to see you?

I'm sure that Spanish men don't spend their days telling the women in their lives that they are goddesses. But the difference I have seen in the looks and simple little things that they say to their women is amazing. Touches. Glances. An occasional "Mi amor." Not much of that here.

Maestra,

Mmm….that anecdote must have felt quite….frustrating!, however, you never know, think positively, who knows if, at the end of the day, any of those “piropeadores” men is twice as machista as your husband. We don't know if/how often the wives of those Mexican-Americans get those flattering comments from their own spouses.

I must clarify, that in my previous post when I talked about “how women see themselves, how confident or insecure they might feel, etc…”, I was referring not only to their beauty, but to a much more general idea of attractiveness. Therefore, I'll try to rephrase it; no woman, who isn't a beautiful human being on the inside to begin with, can seem attractive to the people around her; she might before one meets her, but never afterwards, because the most basic and important thing is missing. Bah! I sound like a Disney character now!

This thread, which has turned quite “girly”, is making me realize one thing; we, in Europe, also get that “you gotta look young no matter what” pseudo-philosophy, and you know what? I think it's a pretty absurd notion. Last Tuesday at work, I met up with a couple of American girls in their early twenties, we spent the entire afternoon-evening together (me showing them flats to rent around Madrid), and when we were finished, at 23hrs., and were chatting up and saying our goodbyes, they asked how old I was, I said I was 32, and they were surprised and told me they thought I was 26 tops. I felt flattered (it was just like that good old post-piropo feeling ), and replied something like: “girls, I'm so exhausted, but you just made my day.”
And now, I'm thinking, why?, why looking younger than one's age should feel so good, what is wrong with looking just fine at one's age, whatever it is? It's silly.

I guess this thread can turn into a discussion about each of our personal tastes; for instance, Liz/Guapetona is probably right about LatinAmericans being the most "melosos', but I'm not amongst the millions of women who adore the Ricky Martin-Chayanne suave type (Venicio del Toro is sexy); although I think I'd love Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek if I was a man! (but also Ashley Judd). Apart from these voluptuous latinas, MANY Spanish men will tell you the Swedish (or generally blonde) girls are IT. And I say give me an Aidan Quinn look-alike anytime, baby ....or a younger Gregory Peck!

zorro37 writes: Yes, I have also frequented (and watched the world go by at) Cafe de la Place on Saint Germain des pres and Barcelona's Ramblas: The novel is Bonjour Tristesse (Good morning, sadness) and I guess I would have to be the aging playboy - as portrayed by David Niven, in the movie.

As for looking at the unattainable being too painful: It doesn't have to be that way (i.e., neither painful nor unattainable). Just Go for it!

I think MadridMan got it right when he talked about the museum. Maybe Spanish women understand that they are nature's art, and don't mind being appreciated as such. And as with all art, it's not just about technique (how to dress) or critical approval (who compliments you), but it comes from a deep wellspring of soulfulness. Women all over the world have that, but from what I've seen, Spanish women have it a LOT. Of course, one can go to a museum and appreciate the beauty without cutting the canvases out of the frames and taking them home. One can sit at a cafe and watch, or one can enjoy the company of Spanish women. It is possible to appreciate the art of Spanish feminine sensuality even without taking home the artwork. But there's nothing wrong with wanting a Goya, with or without clothes. -OhMike