I read in an article on superior restaurant service that at a good, professionally-run establishment, one should NEVER be asked if "everything is okay." When the service is good, the professionals KNOW that everything is exactly the way it should be. For ME, that is the standard by which to judge restaurant service.

Why should a waiter ask me if I need anything? Don't they know if I should have a steak knife? Or ketchup for my burger? Or if my snails are the right temperature? Or if I got a lobster pick or not?

Also, I find it infuriating, not merely annoying, to have a waiter intrude into a personal conversation at just the wrong moment to ask, "How is everything?" Especially when often the food or the service are mediocre. I don't consider it my job to conduct seminars on the restaurant trade. If the food or the service are not satisfactory, I just won't go back, but I'm not going to spend my time giving lessons to a bad waiter.

More than that, picture that you've taken your beloved to the finest restaurant you could afford, after saving for three months. You have set the mood, ordered the wine, complimented her on her outfit and her hair. Now you are gazing moon-eyed into her lovely face, explaining how you've searched the five continents and the seven seas to find your soul-mate, and now that you've found her you won't let her get away. You say to her, "Persephone, will you make me the happiest man on earth and do me the honor of...."

Then a loutish service person comes barging in and says, "Feel free to get seconds from the salad bar if you'd like. Would you like me to bring your appetizers out first?"

Of course, one of the sure signs of the decay of Western civilization is the advent of familiar waiters and waitresses. Frankly, call me egalitarian, but I couldn't care less what my waitresses name is. Waiters should remain anonymous service-people.

Okay, I've vented, Now, I feel better. -OhMike

Oh Mike, you struck a nerve! I also get annoyed with the constant hovering. I proposed to my wife at a restaurant. Everything was perfect...a dark and romantic restaurant at Dana Point Harbor overlooking the Pacific Ocean, beautiful sunset, perfect music. I am grateful that a waiter didn't ruin the moment with "can I get you an appetizer?" I've never been to Spain (yet), but I know that in Europe a meal is to be savored and not rushed. It's a time to enjoy the food and company. This is something that we still do at home for dinner, albeit it's getting more difficult to do because of my family's conflicting schedules.

Oso, you must have gotten engaged at the CharterHouse Restaurant? Nice choice.oh, and uhh, this relates to the thread because uhh..the charter house has good service, and i've been there with my wife, and...she's spanish?

Oso. right you are! One of the things I've found hardest to do when traveling in Europe is to shed my American habit of rushing through meals. When I first arrive in any European destination, I find myself subconsciously hurrying to finish eating and get out. After a while I realize, with relief, that the waiter isn't trying to turn the table over for the next party, that it's understood that people like to linger awhile and enjoy the company of their dinner companions. What a luxury! -OhMike

Knowing that the staff is not interested in rushing you out the door to turn the tables is the key. I find it amusing that we get fairly attentive service until we request the check. It seems like you can never get out of a restaurant. But rather than irritate me, my husband and I just smile at each other and shake our heads. You see, after feasting on pescaito frito washed down with icy cold Cruz Campo (sorry Mahou fans!), I am just so damned happy that I don't mind waiting for the bill!!

This all depends on your definition of an "ideal waiter/waitress". To me, the ideal wait person is one who is totally INVISIBLE. You don't even notice them when they move around the table because they move with such stealth that it almost seems like they're walking on air. On the other hand, they always seem to be there when you need something. All you need to do is glance up and they are there almost instantaneously to help you. What irritates me the most are wait persons who constanstly interrupt you every 5 minutes with the perfunctory "Is everything OK?" even while you're in the middle of a conversation. Believe you me, I will tell you when something is NOT OK! My second pet peeve with wait staff are those that you can't locate when you need something even when you're waiving vigorously to catch their attention.

So for me the mantra for an ideal wait person is "Leave me alone to enjoy my meal but be there when I need you". Unfortunately, this is usually a tall order for most wait personnel not only in Spain but all over the world. But when you encounter such an ideal wait person, it is just a wonderful experience that really enhances the meal.

Just my 2 cents worth. Every person probably has his/her own definition of what is ideal.

Mency, we got engaged at the Quiet Cannon restaurant which was located on Green Lantern Street. It's no longer there, it was over 20 years ago. Im not sure if the ChartHouse took it over. But it was on top of one of the bluffs in Dana Point.