Roe --
This is our story. My husband is a Spanish citizen. Never lived in the USA. I am a USA citizen. He and his family (God bless their souls) flew to the states for a week last year for our wedding festivities. I returned to Spain with them the day after the wedding only on the standard 3 month tourist visa (not applied for...simply the stamp they put in your passport at the airport).
Once in Spain, we began the paperwork trail for a visa for me under the entitlement "regrupación familiar" (reuniting a family). This process entailed registering our American (Protestant) wedding with the Spanish authorities and getting our Libro de Familia.
Once I had the Libro de Familia, I could apply for the visa at the nearest Spanish consulate to my USA address. In my case it was New York City since I am from Philadelphia. Typically you present the paperwork and pick the visa up in a week or so. However, my husband "sweet talked" the woman handling immigration matters into processing all my paperwork on the same day since it was my sole purpose for returning to the states (other than to visit family and have a couple of nights out on the town with the girlfriends
) She agreed. I popped in to the consulate at 10 am, presented my documents and then was told to come back in 3 hours. So, I went shopping, had lunch, then went back and picked up the visa.
Yes, you have to go back to the states (or your country of origin) to pick up the visa. The USA also does this. The primary reason for this is that if the visa is declined for whatever reason (if you do everything right, there is no reason for it to be declined), then Spain doesn´t have to foot the bill to deport you. You have essentially deported yourself. It´s a matter of separating the chaff from the wheat and keeping out the riff raff.
Once I had the visa (good for 3 mos), I could apply for my residency. In applying for my residency, I needed to also submit an "offerta de empleo" (essentially a letter from a prospective employer stating its intention to hire me once my residency and work permit were approved)in order to be granted a permiso de trabajo (work permit) Being married to a Spaniard does not mean that I automatically have the right to work here. That is applied for separately. However if you process everything at the simultaneously, you save yourself a lot of hassle and unneccessary running around.
The paperwork has to be processed in the order that I mentioned:
1. Libro de Familia (needed to apply for the visa)
2. Visa issued from the Spanish consulate in your country of origin (needed to apply for the resident´s card and work permit)
2a. Oferta de empleo (needed to apply for the work permit)
3. Resident´s card. This is applied for in your local province in Spain. Is generally a 3-6 month process depending on where you apply (bigger cities = longer wait). I applied through Segovia and like clockwork had the residency approved 3 mos. later.
I hope this helps to clarify matters for you!
Good luck!