okay. I won't freak

funny how short hair was once very fashionable in spain...

does anyone remember the rock band 'Mecano?' the lead singer had very short hair and turned on a whole group of women to the short hair thing... i wonder if those women ever endured degrading comments like those you speak about, leuci..? i knew pleny of women with short hair there... i don't think got that treatment..

how horrible that you were treated like that, leuci... i don't think anyone here would think that you dislike spain because of it... it's just those people that have to make the comments that annoy us, no?

RM How could anybody forget Ana Torroja? She has a great voice! As for the short hair, tons of women in Spain have short styles. Don't let anyone mistreat you for being yourself-here or anywhere! Tell them if they don't like it they don't have to look. Hee-Hee!

Leuci, may I ask you when did this happen? where?
Listen, I am not going to say that I don't believe you but it is very difficult for me to believe that people insulted you openly. I do believe that they could look at you and speak behind your back, but insult you... I don't know.
The reason why I doub it is because many years ago only people with cancer would have their hair that short, and believe me that nobody, except bad people, would laugh at that or insult you. My mother said that women who went to prison many years ago had their hair very short, but I never saw that so I don't know if that is true.
Please, don't think that I am calling you liar, I just would like to know if this is a long time ago and where, maybe you would teach me something about my country that I never knew
Besos...Nuria

This happened about 15 years ago. I was traveling throughout Castilla y Leon at the time. I think I was targeted particularly because I was alone; I suspect that if I'd been with a man, people would have stared but they would have kept their thoughts to themselves. The presence of a man also may have allayed concerns about my sexuality. Most of the remarks I got had to do with my femininity (or rather, lack thereof), my "ugliness," and my sexuality. I never responded, although I understood everything. It really wore me down, and it was years before I went back--with plenty of hair. Don't know how I'd respond now because I'd never put myself in such a situation again. Besides, I've reached that age where invisibility has begun to set in!

A couple of experiences were pretty over-the-top. One guy, a young man who was with a friend, exposed himself to me in broad daylight--I kid you not. I guess he was venting his frustration at my lack of reaction to their comments. But mostly it was pretty minor stuff that wound up having a big cumulative effect. The most surprising incident occured in a club in a small city. I was talking to a woman in Spanish. A man came up and started chatting with us (really with her). After a few pleasantries he actually said--with me standing right there and obviously understanding the language--"And what is this thing that you're with?" My friend totally chewed him out (I was too shocked to put two words together), earning my undying gratitude.

Given my experiences in Spain since, I'd be pretty surprised, too, if someone told me this. But I've seen the other side of the coin. Hopefully, things have changed over the years. I imagine that with evolving fashions and the pervasiveness of the media, people have seen a lot more diversity, even if perhaps they haven't witnessed it firsthand. (BTW, I'm not saying that the same thing wouldn't have happened to me elsewhere--even in parts of the U.S. I just happened to travel to Spain.)

[This message has been edited by leuci (edited 12-20-2000).]

Damn, I keep editing this thing! It's hard to know how much to say and how to say it....

[This message has been edited by leuci (edited 12-20-2000).]

[This message has been edited by leuci (edited 12-20-2000).]

It is so surprising for me to hear something like that! I am so sorry that they did that to you. That is the kind of people that gives bad reputation to my country, and hopefully people changed their minds since then.

Hey, there are jerks everywhere. I've had tons of wonderful experiences in Spain, before and since. I think most of the people are terrific. I just happened to press some buttons, and there are always those who'll single out folks they perceive as vulnerable and/or a threat because they are different. But I did return, several times, and I'm very glad that I did!

[This message has been edited by leuci (edited 12-20-2000).]

Will I look ridiculous wearing a red blazer in Spain (50-year old mom)? I look great in red!

mclarke, you would look fantastic! Hey, I am wearing my spanish clothes here, you know tight pants, black shoes... you should be able to wear anything that you want. I love red too, I have a beautiful red pants that I bought in Spain last year. And the dress that I wore to my last party was wine-red.

Nuria,

Thanks for responding quickly. I will definitely wear my red blazer, dress, and pants. Yes, Nuria, I will soon be in Spain. Dec. 29, I arrive in the morning.