You're in luck, Marl. Real Madrid now have the method of buying tickets posted on their website.
http://www.realmadrid.es/web_realmadrid/templates/penyas/peticiondeentradas.jsp Basically, you have to wait until five or six days before the game then buy your ticket from Cajamadrid bank, with a credit card. When I was there, I was with the Malaga away fans up nearly on the roof it cost me 2.500 Ptas or 3.000 Ptas, I can't remember now. Anyway, pretty good value, I thought. Incidentally, there are a few bars across the street from the north end of the stadium and you should go in the one with the green paintwork and on two levels. You will have the best hot tortilla bocadillo you could ever wish for!! It was enormous, tasty and cheap!! I digress....
I'm sure there are stadium tours and it is a very impressive place - one of the best I've been to. As for meeting the players, I would think the best place to do it is at their training ground and after the session they normally sign a few autographs as they go off, although why you want to meet that bunch of part-time
no-hopers beats me!! ¡Hala Malaga!