I hope this won't seem like a strange topic, but I'm wondering about how other folks on the list feel about eating out alone in Spain.

I go to Spain fairly regularly and sometimes I'm there with friends and family, other times I'm not. I always feel a bit uncomfortable going in to a restaurant to eat alone (standing at the bar for a beverage or snack or sitting at a terraza is somewhat less problematic), largely because Spain is so social when it comes to meals. Here in the States I see many more people eating out alone than I do in Spain. In fact, when I was there last summer I made a point of looking around to see how many people dined alone. Not too many.

I've thought about it and I don't think too much of this is linked to being a woman alone, though I do hesitate to go into some places to get a snack at the bar if it looks like it's almost exclusively men hanging out there. I really think I feel uncomfortable because of the social ethos of Spain--everything is done in pairs, groups, etc.--which is something I love about Spain, it's just difficult to adjust to when I find myself there traveling alone!

Any thoughts on this? Any suggestions on places folks have eaten in Madrid where they've felt comfortable dining alone?

Hope I haven't made myself sound too pathetic or neurotic

I am planning to go to Spain in June and I have already been thinking about this. I have traveled to Europe before by myself and eating alone is not fun. Sometimes I eat lunch out (not quite as conspicuous eating alone) and then eat "take out" food or food purchased in a market for dinner in my hotel room or in a park. I am wondering if any "locals" have ideas for us solo travelers. By the way, I am not in the younger age group so I'd rather not be directed to places where only "teeny boppers" go.

I don't think eating alone is that bad. I haven't done it in Spain specifically but I spent 10 days by myself in Greece last year after my bf went home. The only thing I hated was once they tried to seat me at a bad table in the back when I had pointed out a table closer to the street I had wanted (the restaurant wasn't full!) Sometimes solo eaters aren't treated as well. I went across the street instead and had a great dinner there. Sure, it gets boring sometimes but I talk to the waitstaff, the other tables, write in my journal, etc. I got so used to it that I even went to the bar by myself - something I would NEVER do here! On my last night an Australian girl just came up to my table and asked if she could join me. That was great. Turns out she was 32 also and travelling alone. In Italy when my friend got sick I went to the bar by myself there too - and ended up talking to some Italian guy for like 2 hours. It was a tiny little town so it seemed OK. Be careful but don't be shy! I would hate to go home early and eat in my room because I didn't want to eat alone. Finding live music is another way to go out by yourself not have to stare at the wall. Or you could bring post cards to write, etc. The Rick Steves website has a forum on solo travel that I found helpful.

Liz,

You're not making any foolish comment at all . I guess I'm lucky I don't recall ever having to eat out by myself anywhere (I think whenever I've found myself in that situation; I've skipped that meal or eaten a snack instead ). And I do believe, in Spain, there's a general idea that eating alone is...well...sad.

That is why, upon reading his journal and noticing that he had to spend some time busy but 'solito' , I had offered MMan to get together for lunch or a walk one day last week; however, SORRY Mman, I started working right then (ended up working until 23hrs. both last Monday and Tuesday, imagine!), so I never called.

I not only dislike eating alone, I personally wouldn't travel alone, though I've sort of done it in the past, when I used to travel to London to visit my sis, I guess I love to share such precious experiences with someone too much, but that's just me.

I've dined out a lot solo in Spain (Madrid, Barcelona). Like others have said, it's easier and less conspicuous at lunch, so why not have your big meal at lunch, and then stand up at a bar for tapas for the evening? I usually find restaurants willing to serve me though, as someone else said, one sometimes gets a lousy table -- like right by the kitchen door -- but I can't really blame the restaurant. On the other hand, sometimes I've been seated a lot quicker than other diners because I only need a small table. A related issue is that sometimes it's an easy way to get drunk since, if one orders wine, and they bring a whole bottle, what is one to do but try to finish the bottle?!

Hiya, Liz49 --

You're not being silly at all. I've never given it much thought before, but I instinctively avoid eating out at dinnertime in Madrid unless I'm meeting friends.

As pim pointed out, there's a sense here that a person dining alone is either pitiable or just strange. This is less true in quick-snack places like Pans & Company, but definitely seems to be the case at pubs, restaurants, etc. Usually, I only eat supper out if friends want to get together for a meal; otherwise I stock up on groceries and eat in (which is, of course, more economical as well).

Maybe I'm the oddball for not minding eating alone...surely someone else has gone to Spain and not minded it, right? Was Hemingway afraid to go to a restaurant by himself in Spain? come on, guys! Ok, just kidding. Seriously, if there are any women who need some inspiration to travel (and go to restaurants) alone, there's a good true story book called "tales of a female nomad" about a woman who gets a divorce and then travels around the world solo meeting people from all over. The first chapter is about how she didn't want to dine alone on that first night. It's pretty interesting. Spain is different from a lot of places, though. I don't think your concerns are silly at all Liz. And Eduardo, you are right about the wine. Although I usually get a small carafe for just me.

Hi all,
I use to have lunch alone every Tuesday because of job reasons. I normally prefer to go to a eat a menu, and it's served rather quick and I finished in 40' or something like that. Normally I'm so entertained eating that it's enough but in some places I watch TV, or I look at people, specially if I'm close to a window or in a terraza.
I felt a bit strange about it at first, I thought it looked as if I hadn't friends, but now I've got used to it, and I found it completely normal. Some people take the newspaper as company. Usually they serve you faster when you're alone and as you don't 'waste' time talking you finish in a few minits. I've never done for dinner.
I think I'ld find sad to go to a fast food place as it'ld be like trying to finish as soon as possible in a menu bar you have an interaction with the waiter at least.

Hi Liz,

In my profession I get to travel a lot to conferences, workshops, etc., and find myself in this dilemma of eating out alone. I've found it a lifesaver to carry with me a "great" book or periodical. You are never alone with a great book!

I'll be heading to Spain alone in about a week (friend bailed on me and I didn't want to cancel my trip!) Will be in Madrid, Sevilla, Grenada, and Barcelona for a little over two weeks all together.

I've traveled solo to Paris, London, Scotland, and all over Italy. Since I'm kind of a "foodie", I've dined alone in sit-down restaurants nearly every night. I bring my journal and write about my day (and the food!) between courses, and usually haven't felt uncomfortable at all. I often end up talking with the staff, and/or people at the next table, but in any case don't feel at all "sad" that I'm on my own. I feel lucky to be having a delicious meal at a charming local restaurant!

Messages on this thread so far aren't very encouraging.... Because dinner in Spain is so late, I thought I might do tapas more than major restaurant meals at night.