Hi, all--
This is a fascinating thread. I have had a variety of shopping experiences in Spain, some great and some bad. The best ones were in the clearance department of El Corte Ingles, where an incredibly kind woman helped me choose a coat. She sized me up right off (but without commenting), plucked the coat off a rack, and it fit beautifully. She commented nicely about how it looked and wrapped it up for me. Lovely!

Another good one was in the same department, looking at jackets and trenchcoats for my husband. The salesman was an older man, very dapper himself, and he and I had a delightful chat about how coats are cut in Spain. We concluded that a standard cut is too short for my husband's arms (he DOES have long arms!), and the man helped me to decode the numbers on the tags to try to find the right length (they aren't like sizes here, where you just look for a 35 inch arm). Even though he was commenting on a "flaw" of Doug's (yes, I married a gorilla man ), he did it so gently and kindly and made it seem that the fault was actually with the silly clothes, which just weren't long enough. I think that sheba's point about how much nicer it would be if salespeople remarked about the clothes, rather than about the bodies we are putting into them, is a great one.

We had another good experience in a men's chain, where another charming gentleman helped us to find pants that were long enough for Doug. He kindly suggested pleats when the flat-front ones looked horrid, and did so in a way that didn't make Doug feel like he should drop 10 pounds then and there.

I have had some unpleasant experiences shopping in both chains and boutique stores, with similar comments about not touching/unfolding clothes (then how the heck can you even tell if it MIGHT fit?) and about sizes. I am pretty small, but even I was aware of the "sizing up" glances of the saleswomen (the people who did this were always women). Some steered me away from certain things, and I found that the cuts of some styles were VICIOUS to problem areas like hips and thighs. I tended to feel that the saleswomen were very proprietary about the clothes under their control--like THEY got to decide who could buy what and when. Having folded countless stacks of t-shirts at the Gap, I can understand the secret irritation a salesperson might feel when someone upends a pile of clothes rather than asking for help, but still...it should be a SECRET irritation! I really thought some of the saleswomen were trying to decide whether I was good enough/the right size to be permitted to wear their precious clothes. And salespeople (like good friends) should know that discussing size issues should be done quietly, discreetly, and in terms that make it clear where the fault lies--with the idiot designers who think the whole world is a size 6! Yes, a salesperson should suggest a roomier size when necessary, but it's SO easy to say, "that designer's stuff is cut really small" or "everyone is having to go up a size in this style of pants." Why add to the media- and industry-fed body image issues that women in nearly the whole world have?

And just to conclude, we also shopped for children's clothes. Even when my husband and I loaded up our arms at Zara, nobody offered to help, nobody offered advice. Once I asked a saleswoman about a size, and she looked MOST put out by the question.

And in the children's department at El Corte Ingles, I watched a big argument between two saleswomen who were fighting over me (and my commission). I was buying a dress from the infant department and another from the children's department, and the women who helped me in each place were downright nasty to one another. The first one who had helped, and who had given me her name, ended up winning--but it left me with such a bad taste in my mouth. I understand that working on commission means that you have to protect "your" customers, but making that so blatant is really off-putting. When we went over to the children's shoe department to find matching shoes, one of the women lurked and sulked behind us.

Anyway, I found shopping to be alternately pleasant and icky, and have nothing but sympathy for those of you who have experienced the darker side of it. I also found that the way I was dressed affected the service I got (or didn't get), but I experience that here in the US at trendy or boutique stores too. Here, though, I will assert myself about rude or bad service, and in Spain (or anywhere else), I feel powerless. What WOULD be the right response to bad or rude service in Spain?

Tara

PS--and for a story of a shopping experience that left the shopper feeling like a goddess, regardless of size or shape, check out "power pouf," an article in this month's "real simple" magazine. The author went, on a lark, to a huge bridal warehouse and watched the saleswomen make EVERY SINGLE WOMAN (including her) feel like a perfect and beautiful princess, regardless of size, shape, or budget!

[ 07-30-2001: Message edited by: taravb ]