Hola a todos,
I know that many American women don't like when a stranger says "piropos" (compliments) to them, but that is something that you have to deal with when you are in Spain. Of course if you don't like it you just keep walking and act like you didn't hear anything. Even if you REALLY don't like that and you get very upset don't yell at him, you never know when they are nice or if they are going to yell back. Usually they are very nice compliments, some of them are very passionate, but I never felt in danger. If a guy said a compliment to me I just said "gracias". They don't mean any harm so don't get mad at them, and if you don't feel safe because that man doesn't look very friendly just walk away and try to go where you can find a group of people.
Saludos.

Actually, the piropo situation is a bit more complicated. It is a cultural authorization for men to speak to women, and a cultural mandate for women to react appropriately (silence being what modest women are expected to do). Although it expresses itself in a positive way (guapa), it is also a mechanism of social control. Think about it. In fact, as machismo is disappearing, so is the custom of the piropo, at least among educated folk. Seriously. When I was a student in Madrid a few decades ago, I used to talk back to the piropo throwers, which made their compliments turn to anger very quickly. I went from "guapa" to unmentionable real quick. So.... the innocuous piropo has another side to it we should consider. rgf

hola...

Nuria you are correct in what you say regarding a "compliment" versus it being considered "verbal harrassment."

american culture and women's liberation movements have villified uneducated and machismo behaviour in america, and as a result people cannot compliment each other verbally, mainly regarding physical attributes.

i suppose this is simply a reality in the difference between the culture of spain and the fickle culture of politically motivated big-city america. i say "big city" because not all places in america are this way. and now people like myself have been socialized to believe that a compliment, such as telling a woman she is beautiful, is bad and inappropriate. and i am from spainish origin, too, where my father might not feel this is inappropriate.. i, for one, do not feel like i am suffering much for not being able to speak piropos here in america, though, and conversely, i would not do it in spain either. and this is an example of how i have been socialized to think this. my cultural environmant has taught me this as opposed to my parents...

RGF, i do not think that machismo is on its way out... have you spent much time in the pueblos? maybe you have, and i am not questioning your experiences in spain, but in my experience the pueblos are among the most machismo areas of spain.. i only know this because i have acquaintences in these areas who are a pretty good definition of "machismo" and that is just how it is...

i would like to end this soliloquía(i don't know how to spell this in english) with the following:
¡Penelope Cruz es la leche!

¡Pero es verdad! ¡Penélope Cruz ES la leche! (but less as a pregnant nun - get it?)

Of course people can compliment one another on appearances in the U.S., but not among strangers, in general. In fact, the "you look nice" and "I like your dress; is that a new tie?)are common expressions in the US but NOT in Spain as much. Let's differentiate between a street piropo and a compliment from a man to a woman he knows. And remember, the distance between "guapa" and "I'd like to be a baby so I could *** on your ***" is always only a degree. S/he who controls the discourse.... If you are interested in this topic, read Luisa Valenzuela's LA MALA PALABRA essay. Wonderful. rgf

Thanks for all the feedbacks, they are very interesting. I can see that as a Spaniard as an a girl I have a very different point of view about the topic. I still don't think that a piropo is "machismo", or a way to control a woman or anything bad, but I understand that you think in a different way, and I undestand that you have your reasons to think what you think.
Saludos.

Nuria, to a certain extent, I share your point of view: I am from another European country, have lived in Spain and live in the US now. While I have the impression that women have a more equal position in society in this country than in Europe in general (except for Scandinavia probably), which I of course appreciate, I think that the political correctness wave also took away lots of the magic that can exist between men and women: harmless flirts, compliments etc. can be so nice and brighten up your day, and it seems to be so unsual here. In the US, you sometimes wonder whether anyone notes whether you have just put on a nice new dress etc.
On the other hand, I think as a Spanish girl you are less likely to be addressed by nasty guys in Spain than a "guiri", and therefore your evaluation of piropos might be more positive. Especially in bars at night on the weekend, there are quite a few of buitres (sleezy guys) out in Madrid who specifically are looking for foreign girls, as they are supposed to be "easier to get". That is explicitly what they have told me themselves. And they can get really rude and disgusting, so sometimes, you have to be tough as well to get rid of them. I am not at all saying that this is typical for Spanish men as such, but unfortunately, especially as a blond, foreign looking girl, you are likely to meet this type of guys.

connie your post is hilarious...! ¡que gracioso...!

you are totally right about the buitre/lobo phenomenon... in a group of guys there will undoubtedly always be a few of those, and i (being male) have gotten to bear witness to its making from time to time while with groups of friends in madrid... a few of them asking me about how easy american women are and such... it is a truism in the bar scene, that the spanish guys think american women are the easy ones.. he he he... and it's was always so funny to watch my friends trip over themselves...

anyway, i think that Spanish men in general are harmless, as Nuria somewhat points out, and that a foreign woman could really play this up for a few drinks and a dance with a spanish guy...!

os dejo con esto...
¡maribel verdu tambien es la leche!

[This message has been edited by real_megia (edited 08-08-2000).]

One further thought on this - would it be acceptable for a woman to comment on a man's appearance the way men in Spain do to women? I think not. Like rgf, I often spoke back to piropo throwers, who probably didn't anticipate my fluency, and they were often left flustered.
Nuria, would you ever tell a man you didn't know, who you passed on the street, nice pants, you've got great hair, you're so handsome? If not, why is it acceptable for a man to address you in that way?

I have to say that I saw more than once girls saying "tio bueno" to a guy or turning their heads to look at him. I think everybody have the right to have their opinion, I am not defending the piropo or going against it, I am saying that I (as an individual) don't think is bad. I think that men are women are equal and we should fight for that but I don't like when everything that guys do are "machismo". I can see that here in the States guys are very carefull trying to not to upset a woman becasue if they do they are going to have problems, so finally the machismo turned inot feminismo and women think we have all the rights and men should follow our rules or they will be punished (it is just my opinion). I am a person and I am a woman, I like when men say nice things to me and I don't think they are being machistas with me.
Of course I understand that there is people that don't like it and I think you have your reasons. This is only my opinion.
Regards,
Nuria