Dating question

Posted by: alejandro

Dating question - 11/25/02 12:26 PM

I recently met a wonderful woman and am interested in dating her. However, she is recently divorced and has a young child. As an initial matter, neither of these facts concerns me, but it is a situation I have not previously encountered. If anyone has been in a similar situation and could provide any insights or things to consider going forward, I would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
Posted by: taravb

Re: Dating question - 11/25/02 04:52 PM

alejandro--

my only piece of advice would be to work hard to develop your relationship with her BEFORE you fall in love with her child (which is likely to happen--kids are cute!). go on "real dates" without "junior" so that you can see her as a romantic partner first, and as a mom later on.

the only reason is that if you get involved with both mom and kid at the same time, and then break it off for whatever reason, it's likely to be hard on the child.

my husband dated a woman with two kids before we met, and although the breakup with the woman was handled relatively well, the kids were hurt by it (and so was my husband, who really loved them).

good luck!!
Posted by: Lipstique

Re: Dating question - 11/25/02 06:56 PM

You mentioned that the woman is recently divorced. That's a very tough situation. You could possibly become the rebound relationship, and it might not last long.

My ex-roommate was in a similar situation many years ago. He was divorced with a young daughter that he shared joint custody of with his ex-wife. He learned very quickly to not introduce his daughter to the women he dated. And once he was in a long term relationship, he waited well over a year before he introduced his daughter. He learned this because his ex-wife immediately included their daughter in her new relationship. The daughter was very confused.