how to meet a good spanish man?

Hi,
I've just come across this site and think it is great. I've just read a post in which a man asked what was the best way of meeting a spanish woman.
So, I thought I would do the same and ask for any advice about meeting a spanish man.
I am going to be moving to Valencia in September to teach english. I am fluent in spanish which I know will probably help me a lot but I still would like some advice on how spanish men are-such as are they more outgoing than english men or not. Are they more direct and forward?

I did live in a small village called Landete in Castilla-La-Mancha last year but that proved impossible to meet any good lookibng spanish men as it was very small and there were no such men there. Any thoughts on this matter would be apprecaited. Thanx

hey everybody

shona

while spanish woman are generally hard to bind a dating relationship with,i would say binding with a spanish guy is often the opposite.its due to the different traditional social expectations and roles of the female and the male sex in spain.men are more charming and expressive with the girls they like because their societies breed them in this matter.the girls are bred the total opposite.the are expected to be more reserved and to respect and seek their virginity at least until their married.other character trait in the TRADITIONAL TYPE of spanish female is privacy and female shyness.this all comes out to betray the fact that spanish guys are just as easy to meet and bind just like most of the rest of the males in the world.
again spanish guys are no more of problem to meet and date than for example the english or american males.
good luck
funny im attempting to meet a spanish woman
while youre attempting to meet a spanish guy
(which is easier)
good luck fmiketheman and shona in the search for spanish love

“the girls are bred the total opposite, the are expected to be more reserved and to respect and seek their virginity at least until their married.”

Hein? But this is 2003!!! , I know you're referring to the “traditional Catholic roles according to gender”, but believe me, none of the parents, of any age, I currently know, expect their daughters to remain virgins until they wed! :o

“men are more charming and expressive with the girls they like because their societies breed them in this matter.”

There we go again….Is anyone aware that the (yearly taken, I think) most recent polls show that the average Spanish man is more (my personal opinion would rather be “just as” ) interested in football (soccer) than in sex, I mean, “dating”?

Goog luck Shona and fmiketheman!

And Pim, since when were Spanish women shy?!?! I think Mikeman has been spending too much time in the library?! But then again, this from a guy who said we (Spanish women)had narrow hips in another post! Don't I wish! :p

umm... none of MY Spanish amigas are virgins and only one of them is married! Most of them are VERY outgoing and do things I wouldn't ever dream of doing! They aren't any stereotype that society dictates to them. They act the same way my friends here in the US behave towards sex and dating. Where did you get your information from? Do you really know a large number of Spanish girls who are like that?

Melinda

If anyone has the secret on how to meet Spanish women, please let me know. I'm all ears!

While generalizations are never completely accurate, I think Spaniards -- in general -- tend to be fairly conservative in their friendships and love lives. What this means is that they will tend to socialize with their "group" -- the people they grew up with, went on family outings with, live near, attended university with, etc. As a full-fledged adult from the extranjero, it may be difficult to break into this group. On the other hand, Spanish men, like most men regardless of their nationality, are much more willing to consider short term liaisons with a "guapa" regardless of her background and will not be too concerned if you just want to "ligar."

On the subject of Spanish women -- another of my favorite topics -- they definitely have hips. What Mike might have meant is that a lot of the younger women have nice flat stomachs peeking out from their tank tops and low-cut jeans. So flat stomachs and recognizable hips are a good combination in my book.

Also another digression about Spanish women: they tend to have very nice eyebrows.

hey everybody

oye guapetonas you all just gave me an infarto(heart attack for melinda) :p

dont worry i went to the hospital went through an operation and im now ok.
but with a delicate heart so ten cuidado conmigo...vale?

ok lets see... espe3 said i that i mentioned that spanish woman have narrow hips. check again guapa because i never said that.

pim
i was refering to the traditional/catholic roles and became gaga and ignored that we including me are all in the great 21st century.sorry.

melinda
nothing you have said gave me that heart attack.

everybody
dont worry i never had a heart attack i just half fainted. :p

i have been in Madrid since August of 2002. I know it's less than a year, but I have had NO luck with the Spanish men. I met one, which has not been so bad, and we are "dating" i guess. Well mainly just messing around when we both have the time. PS that was a total euphinism, by the way. Personally, I have a hard time finding men here because I am so tall, not a size 2, and I don't like smokers. So that leaves about 3 men who are taller than 6 feet (or 180 cm), have meat on their bones, enjoy my meat on my bones, and don't smoke. Oh well, some are still nice to look at. Also, I like nice teeth. Maybe now that leaves me with one man, and with my luck he will be gay.

Good luck ladies, I hope your search brings you more luck than mine has.

And, no one I know who is Spanish is a virgin...especially my roomates!

Mike, Mira guapo, ten cuidado, since using the 'guapa' or 'guapo' can be used also in condescending terms and its hard to tell over a written messag if that's the way you mean it or not. Its not something worth arguing about, so if I'm wrong, I take it back and my apologies. However, I did say the narrow hips comment came from a different post- which has since been erased, it was about fashion, someone was talking about clothing sizes, the pants issue came up and I at least THOUGHT it was you who in one of the posts in the thread said that one of the reasons the pants there had smaller sizes, among all the other explainations that were given, was that we had narrow hips.

But again, if I confused you with someone else, pues perdon, mia culpa. Ok?

Suave Espe3

The term "guapo/a" can be used in that way, but I don't think that fmike is using it in a condescending way. It is hard for a forgeiner to distinguish the "tone" in which words are used.

Excuses if I'm acting as devil's advocate, I wanted just to say that

Fernando

hey everybody

youre so right fernando

i learned guapa from a t.v. show i saw on antena3,when madridman had it on this web.the show is "el diario de patricia"
everytime a woman of all types of looks even fat was walking through towards the panel the guys yelled out "GUAPA.WOOHOO,GUUUAPAA.
thats what i thought it only meant.
i didnt expect all this.
oh well thats called culture shock.

There is a famous saying in spanish that says: "La intención es lo que cuenta" (it is the intention what counts).

When I was in the States I suffered myself various of these "culture shocks"

One of them was talking about politics and religion, until a friend of my host mother told me: ."Fernando, in the States it is very rude to talk about politics or religion because it is a very sensitive matter". I didn't know where to hide myself... I had been talking for hours... and even asking people the differences between a democrat and a republican, or even asking which religion they followed as if it was a natural thing to talk about (at least in Spain it is).

Fernando

fernando,
it really depends who you are talking to. Some people take offense to religion and political talk, but from what I have found, it's not a big deal. And I am American. Also by asking the difference between a Democrat and Republican is a question of trying to educate yourself. People are too sensitive these days. Amoung your peers, talking religion, politics and other "sensitive" topics should be just fine...if not, just say you are foriegn and didn't know!

Fernando- I know, that's why I wanted to explain to Mike that it could be taken 2 ways- good and bad- and I did say that I wasn't sure of the way he was intending it.

As for what your host mother said. Its not rude, people do discuss it here- only they do it with the understanding that its one of those topics that isn't going to go anywhere- just like anywhere else. Yes, there are more people sensitive to it, and apparently your host family were some of those people. But if you don't ask- you're never going to learn, so only natural that you're going to want to know about those things, as its also cultural and learning a language is not just about vocabulary! So don't worry! Maybe in the future though, try to approach the subject in a more gentle way and see how people respond to it with you before getting indepth about it- (at least with Americans I think it helps).

Mike-again, I wasn't sure of the way you had intended to use it- which is why I was clarifying that.

Both Fer and Mike I did apologize in advance for not being sure of Mikes intentions of using the word and if I had confused him with a different poster on another thread about the narrow hips comment- I don't know what more I can do- I thought my post was pretty clear. If we don't help eachother out with those things- Mike with guapo/a and Fernando what you were told about politics/religion nobody would learn anything, am I right? Again, its more than language, its about culture exchange- I have an advantage because neither culture is a stranger to me- which also becomes a disadvantage sometimes because I am more familiar with certain things that a non native may not be familiar with like guapo/guapa having more than one meaning and may interpret things one way when they were meant another- again its all about culture and dialog to clear up this things. No harm inteneded. At the very worst someone learns something new. No crees?

Fernando, I think the issue about discussing politics and religion is an interesting one...I can talk about politics and religion with friends (though it's more comfortable to talk about politics with people who are similar to me, and about religion with people whose practices are different, for some reason!), but I tend to avoid doing so with my extended family (with whom I have HUGE differences on those topics!). It's just easier, I guess, to avoid conflicts or intense conversations over the family dinner table--though in all honesty, it makes our conversations somewhat artificial/shallow much of the time (how many times can you talk about the weather, what to do tomorrow, etc.)?

I think the issue is to be sensitive to your conversational partner's tone and body language--you can always tell, if you pay attention, if someone is uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. This may be a little more challenging with a language barrier (which doesn't apply in your case, as your English is fabulous!).

Another thing is that many Americans approach these issues very carefully--for example, I might ask a semi-political question to see if someone thinks like I do (e.g., "what did you think of the big anti-war protests in Minneapolis last month?"), and then decide whether to pursue the conversation. If they respond in a way that matches my views, we can talk more freely--but if they turn out to be exactly the opposite, I will frequently drop the conversation or change the subject. It's the same with religion...many people seem to try to figure out other people's religious views without directly asking. Maybe this is a cultural thing in America, or a midwestern U.S. thing, or something like that.

I (and my close friends, and my husband, and even my daughter, who is only 6!) would happily talk for hours about the differences between our major political parties, or the intricacies of various religious practices--let's meet for a caña in Madrid someday!

I think (and I thought when I was there in the States) that that cultural difference was very interesting indeed. When you live somewhere for all your life you tend to think that all the world has the same ways of aproaching similar problems, though that is not correct.

It was very very interesting to saw that in the States

Anyway thanks for your comments (gatawannabe, Espe3 and taravb). Espe3, there is nothing tp apologize for

And taravb, my english is far from fabolous, but I'm making some advances in my written english with this fantastic MadridMan's Board Super English Course

But keep on posting about the original topic, it is something to be proud of when american girls talk about hunting spanish men

Fernando

Hey Fernando,

I hope you didn't just get me confused with an american girl. I am half english/half irish and very proud of it- actually only proud of the irish part. I just had to correct you if thats what you meant. I am actually from Liverpool.
Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanx for all that advice. I'll take it into account when i go there.

As an American girl who dated a wonderful Spanish guy, I can say that they are worth the effort (though I ultimately married a very charming and handsome Italian one!). Good luck, chicas!

Right! Excuses Shona, sometimes I forget that there are not only americans (and spaniards) in the board (though they are the majority).

Best regards.

Fernando

Hi shona, Can't understand you not being proud of being English. Not proud to be a liverpudlian -yes I can understand that. Not doing too well in the league or the cup at the moment!!

Looking at all the foregoing messages it does show the wsidom of the the rule when I was in the army. No religion or politics in the barrack room.

Hi, Zorro,

I'm not really proud of being english becos of how we behave abroad and how racist we can be in general. Also here in england we hardly have no traditions as its a very mixed culture- as opposed to Ireland which is a very rich country with lots of traditions and in my opinion a better way of looking at life. Obviously this is all generalizations-I realise that- but there is also a lot of truth in it. Also the spanish culture is so varied and so traditional at the same time-very extreme from the outside looking in-which appeals to me more than my own culture.

As far as not being proud of Liverpool(football team)i don't really care as I support Real Madrid and Man Utd. I'm more proud of being a scouser than I am of being english-thats the way it works here in general! Its seems pretty complicated but its not really.

Then, if you also enjoy football, guys will rain over you!!

What's a "scouser"? -OhMike

hey everybody

i cant believe snoo's not proud of being english.
i know english people tend criticize england.but in general deep down their proud of being english.
and yeah its true there are quite racist but not all of course.americans are quite racist too towards anything.but that does not make me proud of being american.people are people,your nationality is your nationality,and most important COUNTRIES ARE COUNTRIES.

as for english football
manchester united is the best and liverpool practically is doodoo.they suck my god!
no offence to the infamous liverpool players.
rugby is another story.

Hey Oh Mike,

A scouser is a person from Liverpool. It is used by Liverpudlians affectionately but we don't really like it when someone from London or down south calls us that because then it can be used to skit us.(skit meaning to offend)
It comes from the regional food that used to be eaten a lot here in Liverpool. It is a stew with meat and lots of veg.That is called scouse and so we from Liverpool are scousers. Hope that answers your question.

Shona, thanks for the info. So the Beatles were scousers then? It's funny, 'cause now that I know that, in my mind's eye (or is that ear) I picture you speaking with a Liverpudlian accent when I read your notes. Now you sound a little like Sir Paul. I don't mean to skit you. Besides, I'm from New Jersey. To you my accent would probably sound like Tony Soprano.

Of course, when I'm at home and looking to annoy my wife, I sometimes call her "Lucy" and speak with a Cuban accent. She reacts like this... -OhMike