SPANISH WOMEN

How do you meet good ones. I am studying here at the univ of sevilla for a year. Some of the girls here have no problem meeting spanish men. The American men here are having trouble meeting spanish women. Is there something that we have missed culturally?P.S the American guys here are not ugly.I am curious about madridman´s story how did you meet your chica.The girls here give me smiles they hang out with me and say that I am funny but in the end nothing.Spanish women members are free to reply to this question also.

Well, I am a Spanish woman and I don´t really have a clue. I don´t know you but if they smile at you, they probably like what they see.

I think the Spanish style is more like being fun to be with. You should tell them jokes, make them laugh.

At least that´s what works with me.

Maybe some other Spanish women can tell us what they like.

vale, Guapa.

Matador,

Do you realize that when you talk about meeting "good ones" refering to women, it sounds as if you were talking about 'melones' (as we say here), and not people?

Anyway, maybe these Sevillanas you know don't speak a lot of English and suspect you to not be a fluent Spanish speaker and don't even make the effort to find out....or just like guys with the 'gracia', 'angel', 'duende' or 'arte' andaluz, who knows....
Also, if they're smiling at you, have you tried to make the next move?, you must take into consideration that Spanish girls aren't at all used to taking the iniciative in these matters; when I went to Ohio to study in High School, at first, it was hard for me to believe that girls would ask guys out, send them little notes during the classes, that sort of thing.

I wish you the best of luck!

Dr. Pim

Matador...maybe you should change your name from "matador" too. That would scare me off!


Dr. Tara

Spanish girls are something passive on that issues as Pim says They won't usually take the initiative.

When I was in Ireland there was something that surprised me (I don't know if in the USA it is the same): People first started to go out, then get to know each other. In Spain (as always it is a generalization...) it is usually the opposite: first get to know each other, then have go out. I think is more practical the irish way :p

Fernando

Why is it better the Irish way? Why try going out with someome you almost don´t know? I think using the Spanish way you get to know the other person and so you don´t rely that much on the looks. I mean, if you don´t know someone when you start going out with her/him... why do you go out with that someone? Only because you like him/her phisically?

This is an interesting topic on the difference of cultures.

Short Answer about Spanish Women: They're HOT! Hahahahaa... oops. Sorry. That wasn't very Politically Correct. I mean.. umm.. I LOVE THEM!!

Long Answer about Spanish Women:....

It seems to me, from the women in Spain I know (Spanish women, that is), that Spanish women are MUCH more friendly than their non-Mediterranean counterparts. They may not take the initiative to walk up to men in bars/discos but when they are in a conversation they seem genuinely friendly.

So they may be talking, the woman says, "Hey, let's get together for a coffee at XYZ Bar tomorrow!" The Spanish woman is thinking "Hmmm... this guy seems interesting, I hope to get to know him better over a coffee tomorrow." while the "American" guy (for example) is thinking, "Woo Hoo!! I'm dating this Spanish woman!!!" HAHAHAHAHAAA!! Spanish women have told me of calling "American" men, getting together to do things or have a coffee somewhere and ONLY as a kind of friendship - EVEN IF they're not interested in the "American" man. I have told them, the Spanish women, "Ummm.. Be careful because I'M SURE the American guy thinks that you're interested in him as a potential "mate"/boyfriend/"fling". The Spanish women were surprised to hear this from me!

So non-Spanish guys, just because the Spanish woman asks you to her house or a bar for a coffee it DOES NOT MEAN she finds you attractive, sexy, or wants to sleep with you. (well, this COULD be the case, but...) More than likely she only finds you interesting and would like to get to know you better as a person.

I understand it's difficult to get to a Spanish woman's heart in the near-spiritual sense. That they (and men too!) have "high walls" which may never be crossed in the couple's lifetime. That they are often guarded or careful no matter how much of a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" attitude it may seem they carry.

Well, this has been my limited experience with Spanish women. I'd always heard stories that Spanish women were... ummm.. well... "liberated" and now that I know some, have talked to some Spanish women AND men, they all say the same thing, "THEY'RE NOT SO LIBERATED in "THAT" way." In fact, a man can date a Spanish woman for MONTHS without much more than a kiss taking place. It's probably worth the time spent because, hey, to me, most of the Spanish women I know are BEAUTIFUL or at least VERY attractive.

So for all those Brits, Aussies, and American men which go to Spain to "party" with fresh, young, attractive, straight-hipped, "easy" Spanish women (in their dreams and imaginations, that is), chances are EXCELLENT that nothing much more will happen than a double-cheek kiss upon meeting them.

NOW! How did I meet my madrileña ladyfriend? Well, I met her here in the USA 9 years ago. She came to the USA, her first visit, to take a summer English course at an academy. One of her classmates was my neighbor, a Colombiana, and she introduced us thinking we'd make a good match. And guess what! We were/are. That's the short-and-sweet story. The long version I'll keep for myself.

Saludos, MadridMan

I have to say thank you on your compliments to us, Spanish women.

I had never thought about what you said here before, but I have to agree in everything you said.

And, I want to take this opportunity to congratulate you on having such a cool site and forum. And it´s so crowded!!!!

You did a great job. Thanks.

Yes MMan, thanks for the compliments....

However, maybe some of the facts told about us nowadays are just a little bit exagerated , what I mean is....(do I dare say this? :o !)...., I think Spanish MEN's attitudes these days have a lot to do with the general "lack of action" going on here, specially compared to other places!

'Pedro ladrador, poco mordedor'

(SORRY GUYS!)

What do you exactly mean with lack of action?

I'm with Taravb! If you're trying to meet Spanish women with the I'm going to go get 'em attuitude, Chances are that you're scaring them away because they thing you're a 'salido'. This can be appealing to some women, but for the most part, in Spain, and to most women, with any class anyway, will see it as a major turn off. And then it won't matter how funny or good looking you are, it'll get you a bit of small talk and then they'll rejoin their friends.

Also, a big way to influence how/who you meet is where you're trying to meet them. Most of my friends and family meet people through other friends, work, etc. Although yes, you can meet someone in a bar, in Spain, you go out with a group of friends and you return home that way. Its not common to meet someone and then take off with them! Its actually very strange, and rude! I remember going to a club with some friends and these 2 marines trying to pick my friend and I up when we went to get drinks. Nice looking guys- but it was pretty obvious that they were on the hunt, we chit-chatted with them a bit and took off to re-join our friends.

Another big barrier- because of past generations, and how for the most part the americans (students, young military) are so loud and boisterous are and thinking that any girl in Spain is lucky to be with an american, or that you're doing us a favor. Even if this may not be true of you and your friends, this often times is the perception. Well, Spain is NOT a 3rd world country, we DO have freedom, and don't need to marry an American just to leave our country or to have a better life. These are some of the cultural misconceptions (from both sides) you're having to deal with- fair or not!

I'm going to quit while I'm ahead... as I've been on both sides.. in America, the guys here think ooo She's Spanish, exotic, passionate etc. (BLAH!) and over there its oooo She's American, she's easy! (like on melrose!) Hello! I think NOT! As MM said, with all the guys going to find easy women- well yes, you've got those everywhere. But for some reason, there's an expectation when people travel away from home, that wherever they're going to, its easy to 'get some'. I think this comes from marketing from tourism, go on vacation, get away, meet that exotic beautiful/handsome stranger that will be everything you dreamed of. I've met french men going to spain, and expect the women will be easy and get disappointed... like the italians chasing after friends of mine when they went to Italy for vacation and spanish women were supposed to be easy... its always about that foreign appeal. But again, not reality.

Matador, like you've said, a lot of it is to do with culture. Even if you're not looking for marriage, if you want to find a cool girl to hang out with, I suggest taking your time, get to know them and the culture we come from and see where it goes. You'll catch a lot more bees with honey that way!

Well, what do you think? You know what happens when it's all talk, talk, talk....
....(and watch "it" on TV and movies, see "stuff" everywhere, etc.)

Por favor Carmencita, no me tires más de la lengua , he, he, he!

Hey, your funny. :p

But isn´t the name carmencita a brand for saffron?

Some fantastic information in this link for the American type guy who journeys to Spain.

As my wife and I read through the statements, one thing seemed missing. Just being kind to American males I guess. In America, males are very possessive. Instead of just enjoying being with a lady, we have this thing about needing to "own her." That seems to come out in words like, "going steady," or "long engagements." I don't know if it's a fault or not. When the circumstances are right, I suppose it's okay, but it's not something we should be overly proud of. I think that's where we get the impression that Spanish women are "liberated." We fail to define the difference between the term as it's applied to Spanish women, who refuse to be pulled around on a leash, and trying to impose our will that it means "easy." A big difference.

I've believed, for most of my life, that there's no such thing as an unattractive woman. I marvel at the way they have put up with our male egos, and our inability to comprehend the simple arts of making conversation with them, and our overbearing attitudes - thinking it impresses them.

I've also learned, after 38 years of marriage, that the more I think I understand my wife, the less I truly understand, because every day the ground rules change, and I never get a copy of them so I can stay caught up.

Keep it up ladies. There's nothing more exciting than wondering what's going to happen tomorrow. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Wolf (Who believes there's magic in a woman's smile. After all, has anyone ever seen a baby that didn't smile back?)

sorry pim.

Not to change the topic , but lets flip this around....I will be studying in Granada next semester. Any advice for an american girl on meeting a nice spanish guy?

hey how about me. I think spanish girls are extremely hot too! Thanks MM you answered my question very well. Have you ever thought of staring an advice column? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.just kidding.

Kelar,
I you'll have it MUCH easier! But be careful, because like I said, my spanish counter parts, often thinking that because I am 'american' (I am, but only half)I was easy. So when I was younger I was really careful as it was often hard to tell if a guy was interested in me because of me, or because I was American and he thought I was easy! And even being well behaved, wherever I went, there were always rumors, even started by the marujas of the villages!
(FYI-Maruja is a term used to call gossiping housewives- its not really mean, but its no compliment either! As ususally they are the source and life of the rumor mill!)

Im 16 yr old spaniard in America do u have to be a drunk marijuana smoking punk to get girls here because it kinda seems that way??

ps Espe im mixed American Spanish too.

In best Homer Simpson voice: mmmmmmmmmm....Spanish women.

Seriously, I've been going out with a very wonderful Spanish woman for 2 1/2 years and have never been happier...I think you meet them like you meet women anywhere: luck has more to do with it than we guys like to admit, being kind and considerate, not coming on too strong, being genuinely interested, making her smile...

Spanish 101 (specially for those interested in making new Spanish female friends). Enjoy it!

Tip: Print Out Chart Below Keep in Wallet - Remember Make it fun!
English Spanish (spelled phonetically)

hello o lah

i speak a little spanish yo ablo solo oon poco day espanyol

how are you como asta oostead

very well thank you moy byen gros see yahs

good morning bway nos dee yes

good afternoon bway nos tar des

good evening bway nos no chess

what is your name como say yamma

how old are you quanto onyo teeyenes

you are a beautiful girl too aires oona seniorita bwo neeta

are you single aires too soltara

yes / no
see / no

want is your telephone number qual estoo numero day telephono

here is my card akee tee yenna oostead mee tahetta

let's go back to my house tay goostaria ear are mee cassa

I love you tay ammo

let's make love agomose el amore

big grandee

little poe keeto

nice meeting you fway oon plaser concella

goodbye adios

That´s good carmendeespana, maybe you can help me with my fonetics class.

All of these posts make me think of the latest trend in American "dating"--it's called "quick-dating" or something like that, and here's how it works...

About 15 men and 15 women pay money (really!) to get together in a public place (usually a restaurant). All of the women sit at tables, and all of the men stand. At a signal from a time-keeper, each of the men sits down across from one woman for a limited (3 minutes? 5 minutes?) amount of time. Then a bell rings and the men switch to the next woman. Everyone takes notes about who they want to see again.

At the end of the night, everyone goes home (alone!) and the coordinator looks through the notes to see where there are "matches" (both the man and woman want to see each other again). Then they set those people up on dates so that they can get to know each other.

Funny, I kind of liked the old fashioned way of meeting someone at work or out with friends!

As for meeting Spanish men, my limited experience in that regard was very good--a nice group of guys approached a group of us American women, we chatted over drinks, they bought us drinks, they invited us to meet the next day, we did...and a few of us hit it off. At least among the Spanish men I met (and these were all of typical American "college-age," or between 18 and 22), the expectations were that we would become friends first. I think I was asked, politely, for a first kiss. I found the Spanish men I knew to be perfectly charming. But then Melrose Place hadn't made it to Europe yet, so who knows how things are now?????

Hey Matador,
The American guys I studied abroad with in Sevilla a few years ago had the same trouble...they were so mad that all of us American girls were getting Spanish guys left and right but they kept striking out! Make sure you´re not dressing too "American"...I know that sounds shallow, but when I asked my Spanish girlfriends why they were not interested in American men, that was their number one reply, "their pants are too big". Go figure.
What neighborhood do you live in? I could give you some pointers on good bars to go to in Sevilla. We're going for Christmas this year and cannot wait!!!!!!!

Saludos,
Sarita

I lived in los remedios until my senora got drunk one night and tried to kiss me on the lips. I left there and now I live in triana. I know of many bars here, madigan´s, oneil´s and some other spanish bars. Listen guys the problem is not meeting women in general( this is not a problem for me with american or english women here, I meet new girls here every week and we hang out. When I go out to clubs I go out with lots of girls, The problem is that they are not spanish)I get complimented on the things that I wear so fashion is not a problem. By the way many americans here have problems finding clothes that fit well. The styles here are incredible here, but people here are thinner and smaller than many americans and shirts tend to have this trim cut on the sides as opposed to a regular cut. I am talking about people of many different sizes.

Tara,

Are you serious? Does that "new trend" really exist?! I've never heard of a more ridiculous, even pathetic, (not to mention totally "unsexy" :o ) way to 'ligar' in my life!

Matador,

Your "host mum" tried to kiss you!!!??? WOW! Mmmmm, I guess you could have told her you had come to Spain looking for Spanish experiences, not French! (sorry, bad joke, I know :o ). Well, think about it this way; at least you've been quite a succes in the eyes of one 'española'!

I promise, pim, it's true! There are even variations, so that you can meet other people in your same "category"--college-educated, or Jewish, or whatever! I think most people call it speed-dating.

Here's proof--

http://www.startribune.com/stories/389/3441968.html

http://www.women.com/dating/survive/articles/0,12718,272708_272978,00.html

It's coming to Spain, I just know it!

Matador,
O'neils?!??! THERE'S part of your problem! STAY AWAY FROM THE GUIRI BARS!!!!!!!!! jejej!

Like I said, try to get involved in other activities to meet people. Is there a university where you are where they have a foreign exchange program? My school always had activities for the foreigners and it was a good way for them to meet americans and meet and mingle with people.

I don't know if you're a student or not...but even signing up for some kind of class, like the kind people do when they get out of work. One of my friends took a animal balloon class! (no joking!) and since a couple of our friends were doing it.. I don't know that foreigners ever sign up for those kinds of things, even pottery or something- see where I'm going?! You need to go someplace, even a spanish club/bar, to up your chances of meeting spanish people. Sure, in an irish bar you will, but its alot harder.. its also a lot easier for you to be lazy and use your english instead of spanish! :p

I am with Espe3 on this.

Actually, I was going to suggest something like this to you but then you posted about the bars you usually go and as I don´t know these bars, I couldn´t tell!!

I think if you want to meet Spanish women, you need to go where they go, stay where they stay, be friends with them, or at least try. . And NEVER be shy. Even if you think you are saying stupide things, they will probably appreciate that you are trying to communicate with them.

Have fun!!

Mmmmm....Carmen, I guess that depends on the person and/or the situation though. I usually like shy guys!, and I certainly prefer them to guys that say stupid things!
However, if what you mean is; don't be afraid to use whatever Spanish language knowledge you have, and that sort of thing, I'm with you.

Hi there!

I'll tell you how I met my husband, who is Spanish, and it was NOT my intention to "ligar". I put an add up on the bulletin board of the English department of Universidad de Salamanca offering to do an "intercambio", exchanging English conversation for Spanish conversation.

I had 8 replies and saw each of these 8 people for a 1 hour conversation once a week during my four months studying Spanish in Salamanca! By the way, only 1 reply was from a female student!!!

Actually, as a woman, I've had a hard time making friends with Spanish women. I've been here for 10 years and have no close Spanish girlfriends, yet (although still working on it! And believe me, in spite of very little free time I have made lots of efforts). My close friends are all guys and friends of my husband. In the states it was the opposite, I had (and still do have) tons of girlfriends!

Anyway, back to your subject. If you put up this "intercambio" ad, with your age, sex, and looking to exchange English for Spanish, you should get LOTS of replies. Spaniards are dying to get free English lessons (or at least a lot of them are!)Even if guys answer, meet them, improve your Spanish,and you should be able to get them to introduce you to their friends and break into the Spanish social networks!

Good luck!

By the way the bars I have mentioned are just a handful. I don´t only go to all american bars. I do go to spanish bars as well, usually we start out at them and in the course of the evening we go to other spanish bars. last night we tried to go to a club that is international on wed. Last night was thursday and they would not let us in because it is a spanish night. I know of spanish bars in alameda de hercules. I am not afraid to use my spanish and I am not shy. I do talk to spanish girls. The problem is nothing is happening and all the american guys here have the same problems. I have had intercambios , some who have boyfriends. I thought they would be interested in showing me their part of the city but this is not the case many of them are duds and many of the americans have given up because many times they do not show up. There is not even a call to say that they won´t be able to make the meeting. We talk for an hour, she leaves, I leave and when I want to have an event so that she can meet my friends , she is not interested. In all frankness, I am thinking of changing cities, to madrid or barcelona. I honestly believe based on my past experiences that the people there are more interested in where I come from or who i am than here in sevilla.I have found the people to be much frendlier in those two cities. Who knows , maybe things will change in a week. At first I thought maybe It was something wrong with me, but as madridman said it is something cultural. to me it seems as if there is something here that has a hold on people here than in any of the other cities mentioned. Many of the girls here have been going with their boyfriends here since they were teens. It is not unusual for a woman to be with the same guy for 10 years with the girl believing that the guy will marry her and suddenly things are broken off. I´m not into that.PS I think we should change some things for our partners our spouses, but there is a point where you can change so many things until you do not know who you. A woman shuold like me for who I am. If not well, I´ll throw her in the gutter and I´ll find another.

"A woman shuold like me for who I am. If not well, I´ll throw her in the gutter and I´ll find another."

Errr....?????

someone told me that phrase today and for some reason it stuck in my mind.I was just funny to me. I´m not really serouis about that.

Matador, to answer your original post of how to meet spanish woman, the answer is go to Zaragoza! It has the most beautiful woman. I have been there twice (on my way to Barcelona) and stopped over for 1 or 2 nights. I have always met the most attractive, in every sence of the word, open women....ayy me hecha de menos.

Hey! both my parents are from Zaragoza, does that count?
He, he! seriously though, I don't think there is an specific region that could be considered as 'tierra de guapas', however, the women from Cordoba are said to be beautiful (I guess they'd be our "southern belles"). Also, the ones from the Canary Islands, with their exotic looks; but if what you like are tall girls, you should go to Huesca, their average height is quite higher than in the rest of Spain; if you like very fair skinned girls, the Galician people have probably the fairest colouring. My experience tells me that if you're into redheaded people, Navarra is the place to go, but if you want to find girls with 'gracia y salero', head down to Andalucia "'shiquillo'"! Finally, if you'd like to find the most "European" gals, maybe you should go to Barcelona (unless you come across some narrow-minded Catalan nationalistic one that is )

I'm thinking, that you might have found girls from Zaragoza (where I lived for 11 years) to be prettier because, and this is just my opinion AND I'm aware I'm generalizing here, women that live in the different provinces tend to take better care of themselves in these aspects than us, for instance, in Madrid. Let's face it, their quality of life in general is better, enjoying more spare time and having to go through less stressful routines; besides, they actually know many people with whom they run into on the streets everyday, and that seldom happens in Madrid! I myself only go to the hairdresser once or twice a year....in Zaragoza of course!

I am taking a culture and society class of spain. My professor says that ther are many interracial marriages in zaragoza due to fact that there is an american base there. In other words that place is the bomb!

Matador,

There used to be a military base in Zaragoza, but like the rest of them, was closed down over a decade ago or so....(I'm not sure when exactly, 'cause time flies, but it was one of the things that were agreed upon when we joined the NATO)
Yes, there used to be some interracial "liasons" there....but Zaragoza is a big city, so the percentage of them was very very very small within the context of the whole city! I remember the Americans were known to go to this one bar all the time, it was very close to our house back then, but I can't remember the name....

I hear you Val...I find myself in the same situation, but haven´t been here in Spain nearly as long as you have (BTW we still are long overdue on a café con leche). Fortunately I met the really cool PIMSTER at a Madridman gathering, just don´t get to see her much with me being all the way up the mountain. Maybe we need to just grab the bull by the horns (pun fully intended) and plan a GNO (girls´ night out) and invite PIM, Carmendeespaña, and whichever other fair ladies would like to join us. I think, part of what we have going against us is our age...I mean as a 30 something year old, what do I do? Tap the lady ahead of me in the panadería on the shoulder and say, excuse me, I´m from the USA would you like to be my friend? je je je :p

Matador...it all starts with a friendship. At least that´s how it happened with my madrileño. Friendship first. Perhaps the girls are intimidated about the concept of becoming romantically involved knowing that your stay in Spain is only temporary.

Becks,

It's hard to believe that a lovely gal like yourself hasn't made tons of friends yet!

Just so you know....TE QUIERO MUUUCHO!!!

I can't wait to see you on Thursday for Thanksgiving dinner, I have some news to tell you; oh wait, you'll see for yourself....Woo Hoo!

Val, it was lovely meeting you a couple of months ago .

Dang how old are the people that visit the website I must be the youngest one at 16 yrs. old????

Matador,

I was lucky enough to find my "chica" 13 years ago in Madrid, and it all started with a smile. We stopped and talked for awhile, became friends, dated and were married in Madrid. I don't know if it is still like this with the younger generation, but my brother-in-laws have been dating their girl friends for 15-20 years. When I asked them about the length of their relationships they told me it is the custom to date for an extended period of time. I was only in Spain for 3 short years so we sped things up once we knew we wanted to be together.

There used to be a Miltary Base in Torrejon which is really close to Madrid. So you might be seeing some of the same things you mentioned about Zaragoza. I always tried to avoid other groups of Americans when I was in Madrid.

My advice to you is to make the friendships, get to know them, use the Spanish you know and try some you don't (it doesn't hurt to try). I've made a fool of myself more than once and still do when we visit.

Best of luck to you.

Q- you're not the youngest member. We have a new born and a 14 year old I'm not sure of other younger people... I'm sure there are though. I'm in my 20's so that's also a new grouping...

Matador, Interracial marriages between Spaniards and Americans, could your professor have ment InterCULTURAL perhaps?

Quintos- Don't worry . Jeje- for a while I thought I was the youngest around here...I'm only 19! Seriously though, it really doesn't matter much on this board!!!!
Kelly

A new born come on Espe the 14 yr. I can believe but a newborn would not understand any thing on this site.

Great thing about this board is!!! (among other things), that it does not matter how young or old you are, nor race, sex, profession, ...

I hope nobody took my comments the wrong way on Spanish ladies!!!! Actually, now that I'm making a special effort to find the "international minded" ones, its starting to pay off! Plus, my best friend is Carlos.

PIM writes...
Wait are those wedding bells I hear??!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Val, PIM and Tonytorero the apple pies are DONE!

Q-
The new born thing is a joke! LIGHTEN UP KID!
We joke that the 'youngest' member, is because one of the members of the board (an American living in Madrid) had a baby this summer. So the baby is a member by proxy
Nothing to get bent out of shape for!

How did I miss this thread? Spain truly is the "tierra de guapas". I find Spanish women from all regions very alluring, but I would suggest that the ladies from Palencia and the ones from Zaragoza are on top of the list. There are few things more entertaining than watching these ladies dance their Jota variations in traditional outfits. I didn't get to see the chulapas dance the Chotis, so perhaps the madrileñas deserve a spot in my top 3, I'll have to go to Madrid on May 15 to investigate.

I found this web site called www.spanishmodels.net theres alot of hot Spanish women but some of them are from other countries they just happen to be living in Spain. From the web site I can tell that Catalan and women and Basque do have a diferent look then Castillans or the rest of Spain.

So what was the news on Thanksgiving, pim??? Can it be shared publicly???