Gifts to Lady of the House

I will be visiting my daughter who is doing a semester of study in Madrid. Originally, I plan to stay at a hostel during my visit. My daughter informed me that the Lady of the House where is staying insisted that I stay at her house during my visit. I would like to show my appreciation to the Lady of the House. What is the best way? Should I buy her something or give cash?

Delicate situation. You shouldn't ever GIVE cash, but you should find out, since your daughter is probably paying room and board to this lady of the house, whether she expects you to pay, too (it would make sense). Your daughter should just ask her right up front: since I pay room and board, my mother will too, right? And see what happens. If you pay her room and board, then all you have to do is bring a small gift of the household/personal type to say thanks. If you are NOT paying, it is a whole different matter. Taking her out to eat at a nice place would be good. Bringing more substantial gifts, ditto. If you will be eating there and not paying, bringing home a wine, stuff from the pastery shop, good cheeses, etc all will contribute. Hope your daughter can find out... and do tell us!

rgf,
Thanks for the reply. My daughter asked about payment and she insisted that I stay and not worry about payment. It is a very delicate situation since the lady of the house, according to my daughter is well-off and has a maid. My daughter told me she really does not know what I could give her as a token from the U.S. Any suggestions what to give the lady of the house who is well-off? I was thinking of giving her souvenirs from Washtington, D.c. since I live in norther Virgia. What do you think?

What about a nice coffee table book?(either about the East, or the US in general) Books are sooo expensive in Spain, so something like this might be appreciated.

Hi mclarke!! Read through the " gifts " thread in the "Packing" forum for some other ideas.

I agree with the above replies. Taking her out to a nice dinner would be a nice gesture and/or offering/taking a GOOD pastry is ALWAYS welcome. Please don't "Be An 'American'" and start peeling off the $20 US bills with a pompous look on your face and say (in English), "Okay. What's it gonna take, sister?" hehehehee... Well.. this might be okay if you were a rich Texan oil baron wearing a 10-gallon hat and perfectly polished pointed snakeskin cowboy boots (if you can really polish those things).

Saludos, MadridMan

It's been my experience that flowers are the traditional gift to one's hostess. I've never seen them refused.
Cantabene

OK, let's see. I think a coffee book is iffy== what topic? I'd go a multiple route. Flowers, good pastery stuff (cakes, expensive chocolate), a dinner out, and gifts. What kind? well, find out if she wears nice jewelry. If she likes scarves. I think stuff from the met museum is great. http://www.metmuseum.org Especially, the household objects, scarves, pins, etc. No trinkets or souvenirs! YOur daughter has to have a clue as to what kinds of things she'd like. Anyway, this sounds like a FUN adventure

When I spent a semester abroad, our program facilitator (a man from San Sebastian) suggested that we bring gifts with us while we settled in. He suggested:
-See's chocolates (apparently his mom liked them quite a bit)
-California wine
-coffee table/photo book of our own area (DC book would be perfect)

One of the above, plus a nice dinner out should suffice.

Good luck!

I seem to be having the same dilemma, but the gifts are for my in-laws. What can I bring over that won't be blatently compared to Spanish goods. It seems that all my attempts in the past have been in vain. Mi esposo is no help either. Anymore input would be greatly appreciated!

In the "old days" when the U.S. was the soruce for all desired commodities, it was easy! You got Levi jeans for the teens, electronic stuff.... but now, Spain has everything and more, and at good prices. So... you get thoughtful things they can't get there, or, you go the sentimental route with the in-laws. You make a lovely photo album for them. Are there grandkids? Pictures of them, drawings framed that say "to abuelo" and stuff like that. Otherwise, a nice gift of the sort I suggested from the Metropolitan musuem or other musuem shops are usually unique and welcome. Spanish people love giving good picture frames, so that, with the right pic in it, sounds right. Women LOVE expensive soaps and lotions, too.

I begin by saying I don't know whether you are female or male, because some gifts might be inappropriate for a woman to receive from a man with whom she is barely acquainted. Assuming that you are a female: a Gold neck chain (18K - standard in Spain) might be a good choice - no medals or lockets, just the chain. That way, she can wear whatever she wants on it. If it's a high quality item, it will be appreciated.
Also, several times I took a 'point and shoot' camera & several extra rolls of film and left them for my wife's cousin with whom we stay in Campello (Alicante) when we left. I think she appreciated them.

Thank you, rgf and Eddie, for the suggestions. I have actually given many of those gifts suggested. I am female, and for some reason, my mother-in-law is the hardest to buy for. (Is it just me, or are all Spanish suegras challenging?) Maybe i'm putting too much into it. Anyway, rgf, I really like the museum book/item idea, and Eddie, I think I will look for the gold chain. Thanks again for the ideas.

My experience is similar to that of others here. I have never gone wrong with a "coffee table" book from that part of the U.S. from which I hail...of course most people like to look at the natural beauty of Minnesota, so...

Also, my experiences have taught me that since most of the commercial goods can be bought now on the web, something like this, which tells a story about where you're from. and gives the person a visible, tangible reminder of you, is best. It's also allowed me to tell stories and explain a few things since none of my Spanish acquaintances have been to Minnesota. I think you'll make a wise choice by going the book route.

Thanks to all who took time to help out with my question. Definitely, I will not make a blunder of giving cash! MM's website is such a help to those who have questions about anything on Spain. Maybe one of these days, Madrid man, you may want to arrange for MM's members to meet in Madrid. I just received an e-mail from my daughter and described the lifestye of the senora. According to her, the senora love to attend concerts (classical music). Rgf, thanks for the suggestion. I will get her a nice scarf from the Kennedy Center Souvenir Shop and will also invite her for dinner.

rgf, I will be in Madrid from Dec. 29 - Jan 2; sevilla - Jan 3-5. let us get together.
granda - Jan 5-7; Morocco - Jan. 8-11. you you may send your response via e-mail.

I'm rehashing this topic because I am panicking!!!I NEED HELP!@!!
Please help me in suggesting a gift for mi suegra!!! Every suggestion mentioned on this forum has been run by mi esposo, with less than enthusiastic response...Is it just her, or are all mother-in-laws like this!
(It's not like I want to impress her, I just want to give her something that won't end up in the bottom drawer.)

Yup, suegras are all like this. The only thing that ever works may be giving her the thing you know she uses (brand of face creme, perfume, special soap) etc.

Hi, laduque,
Well, this suggestion may not bring about the desired reaction from hubby either, but here goes. How about a beautiful set of sheets? Really nice sheets with a high thread count are so outrageously expensive in Spain, and they're much more affordable in the US. I've noticed too that really gorgeous ones are treated almost as heirlooms in Spain. (For a matrimonio size bed in Spain you need to buy queen size sheets, although the fitted one are a tiny bit too big. Maybe two flats would be OK.) Beautiful tableclothes also seem well received, and some lovely thick, soft towels are nice. Good luck. (BTW, my suegra never used any of the practical things we gave her, but would put them way in the back of a closet, because they were "too good " to use!)

Good (read: expensive) perfumes are almost always well received. It seems Spanish women can't have enough perfumes. However, this is a very personal item, but this is what my ladyfriend always takes for her sister and mother back in Spain she she's visiting me here in the USA. It's REALLY tough to shop here in the USA for people in Spain because, quite frankly, very little of what we have here IS MADE IN THE USA and the quality is most often better IN SPAIN. Good luck! I always have this problem EVERY Christmas.

Saludos, MadridMan

Thank you for the GREAT suggestions!
Diana, I was actually thinking of a tablecloth, they just moved into a brand new piso this month and something for the house may be nice.
I know, it is difficult to buy American here and take it over there, the quality is "always better in Spain".
With all your help, I'm closer now to a sigh of relief, and regalos in hand!

Diana - brilliant suggestion - good sheets and towels (Egyptian cotton and such) are really expensive in Spain from what I've seen!

My Grandmother almost never used any gifts that my Mom gave her, and that's even after 43 years of marrieage btwn. her and my Dad! I think that's what mothers in law must be liike alll over the world...

Come on, MM, you can get all kinds of great, made in the USA products at Wal-Mart!

(You might not get invited back, though...)

What about a beautiful crystal or porcelain vase with some fresh flowers in it? Its like doing two things at once...everyone appreciates flowers and the vase is a keep sake to decorate their new piso.