Are Spanish people unfriendly?

Before I say any more, no of course they're not all unfriendly. We're returning to Spain in December having just departed in September. That thread-starter is such a sweeping question, yep, I realise that.

Nevertheless, our experiences for the first few days in September were of the type that makes you blink and think "What?" or "Excuse me?" or "Did I do or say something wrong?"

First off, the airline lost my suitcase. I phoned the rental agency in Seville from Madrid as arranged, mentioning that I had no suitcase and was therefore somewhat upset. The Spanish rental agency person had no shred of interest in my plight whatsoever. Now in the UK or the USA or Australia, I'd have had an "Oh no! How ghastly for you!" and other similar empathetic remarks. Not a good start.

The agency sent a greeter to the apartment who spoke no English whatsoever. This person was in a great hurry and very impatient, dismissive, nearly-hostile, and slammed the door on her way out. I burst into tears and wept for at least 20 minutes. Not a good start.

It cost us Euros 50 to go to the airport and back to retrieve my suitcase once they'd flown it down from Madrid: this was because the baggage people at the airport couldn't give a flying toss about my lack of suitcase contents for 48 hours.

It took about 4 days to find a Tourist Information office which was actually open (some of those on the map were shut/closed/abandoned/empty). When we finally got there, we were dealt with by a stone-faced, grim, cold young woman. I had said Hola! I had said Por Favor to be polite and friendly but all I got was a whipped-out map with big biro scribbles on it of the places I'd asked about - like where to hire a bike, for instance. Not just unfriendly but downright hostile......Look, if they get sick of visitors asking the same questions all the time it is NOT THE VISITORS' FAULT, is it? They need tourists to keep their jobs!

Eventually we turned this into a game: Make a Spaniard Smile Today! Man selling tickets for flamenco, make him smile! Woman selling things in Alcazar gift-shop, make her smile! Buying train tickets at the station? Make them smile too!

There are some lovely warm people there - yes, we met them, but boy oh boy do they need seeking out.

Some of them aren't nice persons but I think they are few, there's always IDOT, good luck in December

"Friendliness" is something judged only from our own perspective. We mustn't overlay our values onto others outside of our own culture. I know - easier said than done.

The funny thing is that many Spaniards think Americans and Brits are TOO FRIENDLY & "sappy sweet" with all our ear-to-ear smiles and "how are you doing today?" and over-the-top personal assistance (their words not mine). And I have to admit they may have a point. American/Brit personal care is exaggerated but maybe because, in small part, many of them work for tips, unlike in Spain.

The whole "Unfriendly Spaniard" topic is an old theme but I'm glad you brought it back up. Not speaking Spanish with Spaniards (the vast majority of whom do not speak a 2nd language) does cause stress and anxiety for the help staff attending to you whatever their job.

I can't say I've ever encountered an unfriendly person at the Plaza Mayor tourist office or at the tourist kiosks but maybe I was lucky.

As I said in another thread, it's not much in their culture to add those "Oh my! That's terrible! I'm so sorry to hear that" comments let alone the "Please", "Thank you", & "Your Welcome". It's not at all that they're rude, it's just a difference in our cultures. Realize that and nearly everything else will pass over you without a bother.

I'm sure some philosopher once said, "Don't expect much and you'll never be disappointed."

But having your luggage lost and an uptight agency person in your face isn't very pleasant either - by far! Your visit really did get off to a bad start and "I'm very sorry to hear that." (and I mean it - plus I'm an American so it's in my culture to try to understand and appreciate the plight of others)

A good cultural example is prostitution. Many people in the world consider it terrible, immoral, and downright wrong. Many people in Spain (and elsewhere) consider this legal business not only necessary to society but the right of the woman (or man) to prostitute herself if she does so willingly. It's all a question of norms. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." (but that doesn't mean you have to be rude to Spaniards, going against your own upbringing. Just "turn the other cheek".)

Saludos, MadridMan

I've always found the Spanish people to be very serious and businesslike in most situations. They seem like the kind of people who have a small circle of friends and family and consider everyone else outsiders.

I've found the men friendly enough. A lot of waiters and other people I deal with will start conversations out of curiosity and chat and offer advice.

The women are another story. They look at me like they think I'm there to steal somebody's husband. There's very little opportunity to have the pleasant kind of conversations that are possible with women from other European countries (especially northern Europe) who take an interest in meeting someone from another country and are interested in hearing what you have to say and are willing to share ideas.

Obviously there are always some exceptions. Also, unless you have a fluent language in common, you can't be much of a judge of people's personalities.

In my current job I deal everyday with incoming tourists to New York City. It's very interesting to be on the other side seeing European people in our country as tourists. They're not always as confident as when they're strutting securely around their own cities. The Spanish visitors tend to be rather bashful and quiet. Maybe they're just shy.

Firstly the answer to the thread "Are Spanish People Unfriendly " is a resounding NO ! They´re fantastic people .
Let me also just say something else .. The first day I arrived in Madrid .. more than 4 years ago was the reason I stayed here . I went to Plaza de Chueca .. It was August and at 2 o´clock in the morning it was still 90 degrees . I was in heaven . I was very lucky to get a table as the whole square was packed out and people , as usual in Chueca , were standing around like vultures waiting for someone to move . However 5 guys ( Spanish ) , came upto me and asked if they could share my table .. I´m always glad to meet new people so I said "yes" . We got on very well ... And 4 years later 2 guys who live in Madrid became great friends of mine ( The others lived in Alicante and Sicilia ) .
The story , StripedShirt about your luggage is typical . I had my luggage lost on an Air Argentina flight from London to Madrid . I got to Madrid late and had to fill in all the relevant forms at the airport . They said they would contact me . About 3 days later and no news . I took the Metro to the airport and managed to find a guy to help me . He swiped his card and we walked straight past the Guardia Civil , airside , into the baggage hall . Where he left me ( what a security risk !!! ) . I went to the lost baggage desk and explained the situation and he sort of half smiled . There were LOTS of cases there and he said " have a look around , if you can´t find yours then just take one you like the look of " . To this day I can´t say whether he was joking but it would have been easy to do as I was past security !
I did find my bag , just sitting there , but still did not receive a phone call .
By the way , I love this thread . It´s throwing up some interesting thoughts and experiences !

The Spanish have a saying: Como le vean, asi le tratan; so, it depends on the situation and how you come across to whomever you're dealing with. Many won't understand your language; their response might be to shrug their shoulders and go on about what they were doing before you approached them. Relating to your lost luggage, you write:I have to challenge you on your USA inclusion in the empathetic remarks list. Airlines have lost my luggage in Newark, NJ, Las Vegas, Nevada, and Orlando, Florida; I don't recall receiving anything other than directions to a 'lost luggage' Office on any of those instancesMaybe if you treated them like 'People,' rather than 'Spanish People' they might have responded in kind.

Re the lost luggage, if you look at my original post I said:



It was the rental agency I was talking to, not the lost luggage office.

Re: "how I come across", in my original post I said:



Re: the baggage people at the airport not giving a flying toss about when they'd deliver my case, Eddie, they slammed the phone down on me. They said they had my case and had no idea when they would get around to delivering it. I said "why not" in SPANISH, they slammed the phone down. Hence the two taxi-rides costing us Euros 50 to retrieve the bag ourselves. The same story as Steve Robinson's, if you read his post too.

Re your , try reading things in context. Context is everything.

When I flew to Mexico I went through the states , and I have to say I didnt find the people at George Bush airport very helpfull or friendly . I needed 4 quaters so I could phone home , I was buying things in order to get the 4 quaters , but nowhere could give me 4. I know there was a recession , but come on . To add to this I had been awake for 20 hours travelling , and after the 3rd place I went to with the same results my sarcasm levels were going through the roof !

Obviously I dont hold this against all Americans , otherwise I wouldnt post on here .

I think American security forces have huge problems right now with the threat of another major attack .. as in many ways does the UK . But America is public enemy no.1 in the eyes of many extremists . I love America , but I hate travelling there , because even as a Brit I get rude almost military service at the airport . Once I get out of the airport everybody´s nice and i´m pleased to be in the United States .
Here in España , when I talk to the authorities , I almost always talk in Spanish , but as MM said earlier , many Spanish do not speak or understand a second language .
An example : as a Spaniard who doesn´t speak English , try communicating with employees at London ( Heathrow ) airport . I guarantee you´ll get short thrift !!! THey´ll pretty much walk away from you !
It is all a matter of culture and that can lead to ignorance , but not malicious ignorance . As a famous French General said many years ago " Vive La Difference " .. Learn to enjoy the cultural differences or , at least , to deal with them .
I come across real problems on my many visits to Russia .. Incredibly lethargic service in supermarkets and restaurants .. It´s the Russian way .. And yet now I´ve had great parties in Russia with Russians !
I have many problems here in Spain with bureaucracy , for example . It drives me crazy . But I learn to live with the way of life in Spain .. a sort of laissez-faire attitude .
Spain is not the United Kingdom , or the USA or Australia etcc it´s España .. It´s unique , colourful and vibrant in it´s culture , and I , for one, am proud and honoured to be living here .

I did not include in my response to your original post. From your original post, it appears to me that you Generalize (i.e., condemn an entire people for the sins of a few) too much. You started this thread with a bias against "Spanish People ." IMHO, that's a sweeping Generalization that won't stand up for long on this forum.

Lost luggage is something that happens anywhere one flys with checked bags. And you're going to have to deal with people in the lost luggage area who are not 'people friendly,' probably moreso in places where you are not fluent in the language.

Then you write: "Context is everything." Do you know what you're saying??

I think we should all simmer down a bit on this .. It´s getting a bit personal don´t you think ?

Certain nuances are lost in textual correspondence. Generalizations, as we learned in Sociology 101 at University, is dangerous. And, I'm convinced, perspective is everything. One many's trash is another man's treasure. One man's delicacy is another man's dirt. One man's culture is another man's crudeness. And so on, and so on.

Saludos, MadridMan

My last post in this thread, since Eddie seems determined to misinterpret me and try to pick an argument. Life's too short, mate!

In over 40 years of flying, I have only been separated from my luggage twice. Once in Germany years ago, the second time in Spain this year. The German experience was exactly what one would expect: they took my address, handed me an emergency pack of toiletries+emergency T-shirt, and delivered the case to my hotel within hours, same day. The Spanish experience: 48 hours later after having been shouted at and had phone slammed down on me, it cost us Euros 50 to retrieve the bag ourselves.

So much for your own sweeping statement: "Lost luggage is something that happens anywhere one flys with checked bags." Not in my case in 40 years world-wide it ain't.

Eddie, everyone else who contributed to this thread read my initial post properly and no-one else got angry or had a problem with it, only you. I am not going to be bulled off this forum by one bloke with an apparently short temper so I suggest that you just ignore me from now on, ok?

Saludos, Striped.

Stripedshirt-I can certainly empathize with you and the treatment received! I went through a similar incident 2 summersago when Iberia took no interest in finding my luggage or repairing it!After 3 days,I went out to Barajas at midnight and was told to look through the lost luggage myself -cost 50 €!!After another incident w/Iberia,I use them!
I remember taking a class a few years ago at the Complutense and the professor went through all the correct ways of addressing/ending formal letters in Spanish.Ironic that this does not cross over into dealing with the public...........!

It took me a while to get used to the bluntness of some Spaniards.
The very first time I met my Spanish suegra, she invited some of her friends over for coffee to meet the most polite Americana. She actually commented in front of them that I didn't need to say "Por Favor" and "Gracias" so much.

Also, from a cultural standpoint, think about the way Spaniards answer the phone-"Si, digame" or when they want to pass you in a crowded subway-"Dejame a pasar". Not rude, just more direct!

I've come to understand this and yes, some situations do still frustrate me, but hey, I am completely aware that we Americans have our quirks too.

Live and let live! Viva la diferencia!

Yeah Laduque . You´ve hit the nail on the head ! The " Dejame a pasar " thing in the metro still annoys me since it´s often accompanied by a hand on the back or a pulling of my shoulder .. but now I just let it go . As you said : " Viva la diferencia " . But you´re right it´s directness and not rudeness .
In the UK we can be very impolite .. especially in shops .. and a complete lack of service . I remember my penpal from Paris coming to stay with me ( I was 17 years old ) and before he went back to Paris he bought his mother a beautiful wedgewood ceramic box .. A lot of money for a young man . The store , in a nearby town , just put it in a bag , took the money and not even a smile . Christophe was horrified ! In France , and ( as you know ) here in Spain , they ask you if it´s for a gift , then spend time gift wrapping your purchase .
A young South African girl that sat next to me for 2 years in the trading room in London went to a big supermarket to get a whole load of food . The checkout girl was scanning all the food and it was pileing up ... And Angelique asked where the packing girl was .... Not in England ! So she huffed and puffed having to pack everything herself . In South Africa as I discovered when I was in Cape Town , there is Always someone to pack your bags .
In The States I´ve normally had exceptional service .. especially in restaurants . I love the charm of the Southerners .. I remember meeting a broker ( on business ) at The Waldorf Astoria Hotel In NYC .. Beautiful place ! .. We had lunch and collected our coats from the coat check .. my broker was from Florida ... And he said to the lady " Thank you maám " .. I was so impressed at his politeness . Yet on my first trip to NYC I went to get a sort of Greek chicken wrap ( to go ) at a crowded deli ... I had NO idea of half of the things on the menu board .. and when it came to my turn in the queue .. the guy was " Ok whadýa want ! " .. and I hesitated ... and he was "C´mon tell me " ... I was panicking ! But I got what I wanted !
In Moscow , the service can be exceptional in big hotels and smart restaurants . But try going into a Russian local supermarket . Often the food is behind the counter , so you have to tell the assistant what you want , you get a ticket , pay at another desk , and then go back to the assistant to collect your goods . BUT the last time I was in a small supermarket in Moscow , they had 4 sour faced assistants talking amongst themselves , and not one of them acknowledged the fact that I was there . What you have to do is say ( loudly ) " Devushka " ( Girl or Woman ) and then , grudgingly one of them will amble over to serve you .

Again it´s all a matter of cultural differences .. and actually I quite like these little idiosynchracies !!!

That's funny. I've been told the same thing by Spaniards more than twice not to say "Please" and "Thank you" so often too. More direct, they certainly are. I can appreciate that, too.

Saludos, MadridMan

My suegra always laughs at me for saying thank you, and my colleagues all say no hay de que - as often as i say thank you, but I do think that they appreciate that I mean it when i say it. Spanish people are not unfriendly, well, i am sure there are some, the same as anywhere, but they are a lot more direct and open than a lot of people, which is a good thing as far as im concerned. If they do not seem to be happy giving service, its probably because they work long hours, travel a long way to get to work and home again, and then have to take care of the family when they get there, and some foreigner who doesnt even speak their language is making life even more difficult for them.
I find that people tend to treat you as you treat them, and Im nearly always smiling and friendly, and chat to people, so thats how they are with me.

I too have had the mickey taken for using thank you far to often, for a while I became known in the local bar as Sr Por Favor. But then again my real name is a handful for Spanish speakers, so it gave them an excuse to use something they could pronounce.

My brother is married to a Peruvian, and they find European Spaniards rude to the point where it upsets him, so I understand where Stripedshirt is coming from. He does speak Spanish btw, and she claims to as well, although it's beyond me to understand a word she says !

I personally think the people in Madrid are the best thing the city has. It's a question of how used you are to them and how you react. There will always be rude people wherever you go and vice versa, and my experience is that Spain has no more or less than the UK. Never been across the pond though, so I can't make any comparisons with the US.

After moving to Spain I actually felt liberated from a lot of the social customs which weigh us down in much of the rest of the world. Not just the social customs but also the laws - although that's changing in Spain too. Spanish friends have often told me that we in the USA have too many rules and laws to control the people.

Self-expression among strangers is common too and I love that. They have "no fear" of starting a verbal, heated argument without the slightest fear that it will become physical or that one will pull out a knife or gun to kill the other dead on the street. They have no fear of hanging out the window of their cars, shouting about an error the other driver made - without fear that the offender will flash a pistol.

The more I think about that the more I think they're correct. Not saying "please" and "thank you" doesn't seem rude to me - but saying it definitely does sound nicer.

Saludos, MadridMan

the world of cars ... the people go crazy here in madrid, shouts, insults, is a horror. That peace when you go underground (Metro)

You're certainly right about beeping the horn while driving. I once tried to teach a Spaniard to drive in the UK. Someone made an error so she beeped. I had to explain that if she continued to beep people in the UK she'd probably get hit at some point.

Here I happily beep anyone who takes more than a mili-second to pull away when the lights change.

ref above post
got to admit i find it quite amusing hearing all the horns going off for no reason, you look and everybody is hooting the horn and there is nowhere to go because of a traffic jam, i assume its the culchure (or is it learned whilst on driving lessons) here in England and you are in a jam its just a case of sitting patiently until the traffic moves, anybody uses there horn and everyone looks around for the culprit, to see if it was them they were tooting at, and yes probably looking for a fight